Can blogs collect dust?

I don't even want to make some joke about how long its been since I last wrote something, but its been eons. Maybe if I had some sweet vintage typewriter in which I could rat-ta-tat-tat out something tangible with an unfiltered cigarette betwixt my lips, then I would be more inspired, but lately I just haven't had it in me. I blame school.

Being in grad school is all fine and dandy, but it really seems to suck the creativity out of me. Any time I could be sitting punching out a blog, maybe writing a song, I find my conscience guilting me into reading chapters or being academically productive in some way. Thats the worst part about it. Not the class hours, not the studying, the feeling that invades your downtime. You know that amazing feeling you get in the early post collegiate years where you don't have studying or tests hanging over your head, and when you come home at night you can be absolutely worthless? Well that is gone, and I miss it more than the ghosts of my childhood. How can I indulge in shitty reality TV when I should probably working on the 18 page marketing plan due in March. My heart tells me to choose Snooki over SWOT analysis, but my irrepressible drive to be wealthy, famous and successful punches her in over-bronzed face and I feel that sinking sense of guilt. Enough about that nonsense, this is a happy place where we riff about the absurd and mock poseurs and jagaloons.

Speaking of posers, is there anymore automatically ridicule-worth electronic item ever created than the Bluetooth headset? I know the jokes have been beaten to death like a middle schooler's penis, but I still marvel at the chasm that exists between how cool Bluetooth users think they look and how absolutely douchestastic they appear.

Acceptable places/situations to utilize a Bluetooth:
-In the car while driving.
-While performing open heart surgery
-Teaching jazzercise class?

That's it. Walking down the street with your bedazzled Bluetooth (yah illiteration!), nope, you look like a cyborg or a tour guide at the Magic Kingdom. Leave it in your car's cup holder and call it a day, k?

Hey dicknose with the floppy hair loudly telling your friend "Yeah dude, just got back tonite. What a trip!" while at the grocery store, you can push a cart with one hand and your disgusting gut, you don't need to be hands free.

Dear intimidating looking African-American gentleman on the train, your Bluetooth fails at providing anymore bling than that quarter sized earring you got at Claire's, also, you don't look badass, if anything, it takes away from your quite aggressive looking demeanor.

Oh, guido at the gym, I'm not forgetting you either. Rather than be impressed at you executing your 12th set of bicep girls while gossiping away like Blair Waldorf, I instead want to drop this weight on your foot and probably crack the pedicure you are hiding under there.

My dad has one, sadly, that he makes the mistake of taking out of the car and using at times. If I ever hear the background noise of the NYC streets (where he loves to use it), I resist all urges to either hang up or call him out for probably wildly talking with his hands, cause its HANDS-FREE!!!

In this New Year, as everyone makes resolutions and reevaluates their seemingly unsatisfactory lives, I too have come to some new conclusions. My resolution is to no longer say "ok" when people ask how things are going. None of this hedging garbage. If things are good, I will respond with some derivative of "great", "grand", or "fantastic". And if things are garbage, as things can be at times, I will frankly tell people. None of this "not too bad" when I actually should respond "I am looking for small porcelin trinkets to break". People who sincerely care about how things are, will appreciate my candor and perhaps offer a friendly suggestion or one of many compliments I am certainly due. But if they are just asking out of habit/inane social courtesy, they may be taken aback and perhaps not ask such a dumb question in the future. Thats what I like to call a win win.

Alright, my final point in this rambling, run-on sentence utilizing masterpiece, is a startlingly realization for me. I no longer hate Ben Affleck. I know this is probably shocking for all of you, but I never really cared for him. He insisted upon himself. Didn't like Mallrats or Chasing Amy as much as most people. Thought Pearl Harbor was lame, Armageddon...blah, and oh yea, he made Gigli. I also believed him to be a bit of, how should i say, a douchelord. However, he had a large role in the creation of my favorite movie ever, Good Will Hunting, and he was great in Boiler Room. So he had an outsiders chance of returning to my coveted good graces. Well, he directed Gone Baby Gone, which was awesome, and I really enjoyed the Town which was basically his baby. Add to that my recent realizations that he actually seems pretty cool (maybe that fat bitch Hennifer Yopez just dragged him down with the gravitational pull from her ass) and I would wager he is probably a cool dad. Unfortunately, he has a little gremlin child so he is probably not beating her ass in video games without remorse as I envision cool dads do, like my own father did. He is probably busy preventing her from trying to kill and eat the neighbor's dog. But I digress, Ben Affleck is officially cool in my book (partially by proxy from Matt Damon).

Musically, its really been all about relistening to bands I have unfortunately neglected. Right now, I am just DEVOURING the first Hit the Lights record as well as The Spill Canvas. Two of my favorite bands from my early music obsession days. Listen to Save Your Breath and Sincerely Yours and finally, These Backs Are Made for Stabbing from HTL and Bracelets and 3685 from The Spill Canvas, and if you don't like at least 3 of the 5, then we need to have a serious talk. Catch you on the flip side playas...

"Take your time, find your spine, I swear you'll be just fine..."

JW