Friday, August 21, 2009

Crack is wack.

Its amazing how when you've had a bad/annoying day, the littlest thing can set you off. For example, coming home today, I was waiting for the Red Line. Now I have been subjected to countless performers in the Jackson station. The 3 young boys with tons of grease in their hair offering R&B renditions to the African-American gentleman playing covers of John Mayer and America, which is hilarious cause both artists are so quintessentially white. However, today, there was a black woman crooning a capella. Now she has been there before and its just meh. Today she was rocking Amazing Grace and then O Come All Ye Faithful (yes, bitch was singing Christmas hymns in the dead of August). However, shortly before the train arrived, she broke out in to Whitney Houston's badass "I Will Always Love You". Now this song is badass solely because of the difficultly and the killer pipes of Ms. Houston. This woman thought she could cover it. Now she has an alright voice with a decent register, but it was nowhere near the only awesome cover I have ever heard of this song. In fact, when she mangled the start of the chorus, I remarked "Oh hell no" loud enough that the girl next to me started laughing and commented that "She doesn't sound like Whitney, does she?" Oh she did...after Whitney had smoked enough crack that you could have used her as a chimney sweep.

I think of myself as a pretty even tempered person. I used to have quite the temper (enough that I wasn't able to play travelling club soccer cause my parents worried my temper would get me in trouble) but Ive grown up and usually internalize it, though its not always a good thing. However, this means I rarely have outbursts. Well at work today, that was not the case. I have the misfortune of sitting next to one of the more obnoxious trainees. Now I understand, a short time ago I was just like him, but I did a lot of listening and staying silent. This ass clown feels the need to jabber constantly. And its not pleasant conversation, its his need to comment on things you are doing or trying to endear himself to you by pretend we're all in it together...we're not. I try to tune him out, but its tough. We refer to him as "Fly" because, well, you can figure it out.

Anyways, I have been having a very rough week. Like, lost double what a good week usually is for me. So I'm stressed because Im disappointed in myself, the market sucks, knowing my heartless employers, I could be canned any day for all I know. So needless to say, Im a bit wired. Well I also have the tendancy to talk to stocks and current positions like they are petulant children. Well the following exchange occured to me and this new little insect-like minion:

(Warning, strong language ahead)

JW: "Come on, go. Get the fuck up. Son of a bitch, you fucking cock goblin."
Fly: Haha, that was really funny dude.
JW *looking straight ahead* "You know what else is funny? You shutting the fuck up"

I then continue to look straight ahead and blow a bubble for good measure.

Fly: "Relax, we're all having a rough time man. Market's crazy huh?"

I then proceed to shoot him an icy glare that states "You know nothing and I just lost more than you'll make in a month, so please shut the fuck up and in a few months, if you're still here, then maybe we can be buddies." Silence...booyah

Does this make me an ass? Perhaps, but I feel like I am do for a snap every once and awhile. Thank god its the weekend.

In other news...Oh man, so much random CTA/transit hilarity lately.

-Woman riding her bike down Wells and puts her hand out to make a turn signal, only to recieve a high five from a passerby sending her careening out of control, almost hitting a car and having to jump off her bike. I swear this is one of the funniest things Ive ever seen. I almost forgot to laugh it was so ridiculous.

-Gospel rapper on the subway singing a song with a chorus that went "We dont neeeeeeed guuuunnns". Think of whatever offbeat weird melody you can think of an it was pretty close.

-My personal favorite. I was on the train home yesterday when a little boy of about 7 was running amuck. I mean yelling, bouncing off people, being generally obnoxious. He tried to smack my phone out of my hands as I was simply trying to get a nice game of solitaire in during my commute. Well as this incorrigble little beast was terrorizing this train like a Poltergeist, his mother was on her phone gabbing like she was auditioning for the Hills. Well, her parenting abilities were clearly substandard. Though she was a dime, if I was looking for a Quiz Bowl partner, I would probably be better off using an actual dime I find in my pocket. Well I enacted my revenge shortly before I left the train. As we were coming to the stop, I bent down and tapped the retarded leprachaun on the shoulder as he was probably tying an old woman's shoelaces together or something. As he looked at me with a blank stare, I told him "Your mom is hot. Go tell her, she will understand cause she is." With that I exited the train and hoped that he would be tormented soon enough with the thought of his mom being some MILF lusted after by men all over Chicago. Unfortunately I then realize he was both 7 and probably with the intelligence of a lampost, so I just hope his mom felt weird.

So Matisyahu has a new single, One Day, out. And it kicks ass per usual. Now I could write 5 blog posts about how much I love this dude and his music. I remember the first time I heard King Without a Crown, I remember being a bit iffy on it. But it was intriguing and so I gave it and the rest of his CD some spins. And I was hooked. Now despite being a religious/spiritual person, I have never been much of a fan of Christian rock or the like, cause it always seems a bit off lyrically. Well Matisyahu is just as direct, but there is just this honesty and sincerity to it. Its hard to describe, but there is just this atmospheric cadence to his delivery, obviously a reflection of the traditional Jewish songs and chants in temple. His music honestly just makes me feel really damn good. Its so cheesy, but its utterly true. So gorgeous, so rhythmically diverse, so unique. I mean, a Hasidic Jew sing-rapping with a reggae influence intermixed with traditional Jewish chants and calls? That works? Really? Does it ever. If you have never listened try Jerusalem (what a fucking jam), Time of Your Song (just perfect), and Indestructible (even my Dad loves this song. And its so overtly religious but yet not overbearing). I dare you to not enjoy. I also saw him in concert last summer, and I still get goosebumps thinking about it. It was like a jam band concert mixed with the uplifting feel of gospel choir mixed with a giant mosh pit. He is such a unique dude you forget he is still some late 20s dude. Its that beard. When mixed with prayer curls, the traditional scarves, and for the show I was at, a cocked Packers hat, dude is a badass enigma. Alright, enough gushing like a fanboy, I'll go back to rocking back and forth and smiling thinking of the massive dance party I participated in onstage.

"Sometimes in my tears I drown, but I never let it get me down. So when negativity surrounds, I know some day it'll all turn around"

JW

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Its not a guilty pleasure if you don't feel guilty

So Ive widely admitted to be a music nerd. And not just "I like going to concerts" or "I have a bunch of random stuff on my Ipod", but more like, I obsess over random bridges or a 2 second snippet of melody that a lead singer did on CD but unfortunately will not do live. Genre, era, style, doesn't really matter. I've had conversations with people Ive just met, and they mention a favorite band, and I'll excitedly breakdown my favorite part of a certain song and they in turn give me a look like I'm a crazy cat lady showing pictures of the sweaters I knitted for Mittens and Fluffkins.

But its pretty ridiculous. Im not so much an elistist that I need to know and like bands people have never heard of. On the contrary, that gets obnoxious at times cause you want people to be familiar with your musical groups of choice, or at least I do, so you can discuss them or appreciate certain songs. For example, the emo/pop-punk/punk scene I was in in HS and college immediately turned on bands whenever they had success. It was just sooooo much cooler in their eyes to like bands that nobody had ever heard of. Don't get me wrong, its awesome to see bands in intimate venues, be ahead of the curve, etc... But I am not going to bash a band just because they got radio play or because people outside of this special bubble have heard their music now. Sure I get bummed when I have to see a band I love in an arena as opposed to the smaller club Im used to seeing them in, but I don't begrudge their success. Hell, I am happy for them. They busted their asses to get there, so I am not going to dislike them unless they give me a reason to (aka putting out recent awful music, Im looking at you No Doubt.)

I guess in this roundabout way, I was trying to make the point that 1) I have a semi-serious music obsession and 2) I am perfectly cool with popular or...*gasp* pop music. I began thinking about this as I was having a legit debate/discussion with a friend about female pop vocalists. Like hardcore breaking down songs and melody lines and how they picked songs/handled certain genres. Now outwardly, this may appear odd or to some of the aforementioned hipsters, abhorrent, but fuck it. I like female vocals alot actually. Its a fantastic change of pace from most of the vocals I listen to and usually add a certain elegant element. For example, when I first found Paramore my sophmore year of college, I was immediately hooked, mostly by the outrageously awesome female vocal element. Anyways, I got to thinking about female pop. Its a genre that I definitely appreciate, but it specific doses. I think its a matter of really really liking what I do like because its littered with so much garbage. Maybe its because my Mom loves Whitney Houston (hell so does my Dad) and that was always playing when I was growing up, i dont know where the affinity came from. And I love creating lists. So without further ado, my top 5 favorite female pop songs of the last 3-5 years (in no particular order)

Kelly Clarkson-Behind These Hazel Eyes: My sister bought Breakaway and I thus decided I would give it a spin cause I always was impressed by Kelly Clarkson vocally. Then I heard this song, and was like, holy shit. She just gets after it. It immediately supplanted Since You Been Gone as the best thing she had ever done. Towards the end, the last chorus, around 2:30 and onward, there are the INSANE vocal double tracks where she is just dominating these highnotes over top of the actual chorus. That to me is how you get it done as a producer.

Alicia Keys-No One: Alright, I really really like and respect Alicia Keys. I own Alicia Keys CDs and think she is an absurd talent and was just what that genre needed when Songs in A Minor came out. But I never really was all about any singular song till I heard this jam. After I heard it on whatever awful MTV awards show she debuted it at, I scoured the internet til I found the demo...and then I played it for a bunch of people. Those who didn't appreciate it drew my ire and when it blew up, I felt satisfied to be ahead of the curve. That run she makes down ward at the start of the second verse, just ridiculous.

Nelly Furtado-Maneater: Nelly Furtado was the first female "popstar" I ever really got into. I still listen to Whoa Nelly. On the Radio was my jam and if I lived in the 80s, I would have plastered posters of her all over my room cause I was, and still probably am, in love with her. Then even though her second cd was baller, she vanished from the collective popular line of sight. When Promiscuous came out, I was mildly amused, but I wasn't too into it. And then I found Maneater. I initially thought it was going to be a cover of this, which would have been amazing cause thats my absolute favorite song of the 80s, but thats another matter. Then I quickly heard it in ever bar I ever entered. And normally that makes me hate songs due to the Tim Tebow effect of overexposure. But oddly I didn't and I still get pumped to hear it. And Nelly Furtado is still a fox.

Lady Gaga-Paparazzi: Lady Gaga is beyond fascinating to me. When I heard Just Dance, I was like meh. But then when I heard Poker Face, I began to delve into this chica a bit more. She is so bizarre, but yet so musically talented. We've been over my respect of her musical abilities, but Ive begun to love the just absolute absurdity of her whole persona. Its become really cool to hate on her lately, but I think its just haters. I'm not old enough to have experienced his heyday, but I bet it was the same for David Bowie. Dude dressed and pretended to be a damn alien for an entire cd. He got insanely popular putting a fresh twist on a common genre and probably was mocked in the meantime. The chorus of this song is just haunting and etheral, and just so damn good. And this video, I mean, so fucked up, but captivating. And she reminds me of Alice in Wonderland, which is never a bad thing. That movie rules. Its gotten to the point where I watch anything Lady Gaga on TV. I'm not sure why but damn, its intriguing. She wins.

Leona Lewis-Better in Time: I put this one last, cause though I have no real ranking, this is just so epically good, that I think it rises like cream. I heard Bleeding Love and thought it was catchy as hell, and I was like who is this Leona Lewis character. So I went to YouTube and found this masterpiece. I mentioned the Whitney Houston thing before, so I was like, this dime has RIDICULOUS pipes and anyone can appreciate that. So I downloaded Spirit, and I'll be damned if I don't listen to that with regularity. And this song? Just awesome, I don't know why, but its fricken sweet. Its just really damn good. Simple but effective lyrically, excellent and understated backing track, all around solid.

So yeah, I'm sure some would scoff at my honest admittance of such "guilty pleasures", but I frankly don't give a damn. My favorite quote from Almost Famous is what I always use when people bash pop music because its on the radio or whatever. Especially all the douche hipsters like my old roommate, I keep alluding to (damn, I was around them too much):

I've studied the entire history of music. Most of the time, the best stuff is the popular stuff. It's much safer to say popularity sucks, because that allows you to forgive yourself if you suck. And I don't forgive myself. Do you?

I'm gonna go listen to Halo now cause I have no shame, do you?

"Thought I couldn't live without you. It's gonna hurt when it heals too, It'll all get better in time"

JW