Last week when I was home, my younger sisters (12 and 14) were playing Fifteen by Taylor Swift INCESSANTLY. Seriously, every damn time I passed our den, it was crackling through computer speakers, usually accompanied by arguments about who got to sing along. Honestly, those two need to learn to harmonize otherwise we are never going to become the Partridge Family. Well that song coupled with a dream I had Monday night got me thinking about High School. For me, such recollections are akin to fondly remembering your worst relationship or the most painful sickness you've ever had...both combined really. Not that I didn't have good times, cause I certainly did, but more its just really startling to look at the person I was in HS. And its not like, oh haha, I was awkward, I've come so far. But more like, sweet lord, how could someone be so fundamentally pathetic at age 17? WTF Justin?
Anyways, onto the dream first. We all know that the realm of dreams is completely absurd and usually defies rational explanation. The human brain is a wondrous and relatively unknown item, at least in terms of what its truly capable of, and dreams really are a shining example of that fact. As a Psych major, I read about alot of it, but its often drivel about deriving means about why certain colors mean you have incestuous tendencies or if a rock talking to you means you probably should get an evergreen green minivan as opposed to a sapphire blue one. I swear psychologists are filthy and extraordinarily bored people. But I digress.
So in this dream, I am suddenly in High School again. But this is strange to me, cause I am not high school aged, I am still 23 in my current form. And I am actually in my middle school bathroom. In any case, over the next whirlwind minutes, I go through some weird interactions, and flush some kids lunch down a urinal (WTF right?) and go home thoroughly upset. When I am at home, I am talking to my mom and we are discussing how the family is moving. And we are most likely moving to Scottsdale, AZ so my sister (who is 19 and a college soph) and I can both restart HS, together. While the idea of AZ was quite pleasing, I recall pleading with my mother that couldn't I just restart college? 23 and a freshman wouldn't be all bad. The rest of the dream is kind of a blur and filled with more images and events that would probably make your head spin and wonder what I've been ingesting. I'll just offer that the dream ended with me throwing woodchips on a playground, an activity I enjoyed till I was probably, idk, 16....
I am not going to even begin to interpret this mess, but it did make me think of some of the more interesting and horrible times in that particular period of my life. One night in particular stands out because at the time I was euphoric, but now in retrospect, its downright shameful.
My junior year of HS, I drove my friend Phil to and from school as he was a sophomore and lived nearby (Only Jr's and Sr's could park at school). Phil, while a close friend back then, was remarkable normal, clever and funny, but not a charismatic giant and not exactly a male dimepiece. But for whatever reason, he was hugely popular and friends with pretty much every "untouchable" girl at my HS. So one Fri, Phil and I went to the girl's basketball game. We were sitting kind of in an empty area when 4 girls come up to us: Jaime, Talia, Mandy, and Brigid. They were pretty much consensus some of the most ridiculously attractive girls in school, and not in that "Plastics" kind of way, you could give these girls black eyes and they would still turn heads. Editors note: I actually saw Talia at a basketball game a few months ago and she has only improved. I literally stared for a min while my dad was talking to me, until he hit me and I finally came back to conciousness. Anyways, they excitedly came up to say Hi to Phil and then immediately inquired who his friend was. Im sure my face looked as if I was about to meet Mickey Mouse for the first time. In no time, they are surrounding us and taking turns peppering me with questions, wanting nothing more than to get to know me. Im sure I was looking fly, probably wearing one of 3 puffy vests I own and a long sleeve t, per usual. And let me just say, I saw these girls everyday in the halls, but suddenly Im the mysterious new kid. So we continue bantering and Im subtly pinching myself, hard, to make sure this isn't some fantastical dream.
Later, I had to go to my locker and grab something I had forgotten that day, and Mandy eagerly says she will come with me. No, this doesn't turn into some torrid hookup, amongst the lockers on school grounds; at this point, Im still over a year a way from my first kiss and I have about as much game as that Monopoly box you have in your basement that is missing most of the characters, all the hotels, plus Broadway and Marvin Gardens. Anyways, as we are walking back, she is like "You'll be my hallway buddy right? Like you have to make sure to say hi to me when you see me!" I calmly said, though probably screamed, "Absolutely", much to her delight. I thought, is this happening? Did she say that? I would have thrown a freshman through a window earlier that day to get some acknowledgment and now she is practically begging me? Get the fuck out.
So the night ends, with a few hugs (which at that point for me was like a threesome with Megan Fox AND Anne Hathaway), and we parted ways. This was before everyone had a cell phone, otherwise, God willing, I may have had some math. I get home, and close the door to my room, before exploding in a jubilant display of joy. Air-kicking, Tiger-style fist pumping, falling to my knees thanking God and most of the Greek deities. BEST....NIGHT...EVER
Lets take a step back here. All this emotion and joy and euphoria was because of talking to YOUNGER girls. This is HS, the older guys are supposed to have all the power and control here. The girls look up to you. And I didn't make out with anyone. I didn't get any dates with these uber hotties. I didn't even get a phone number for potential in the future. I just talked to them for a bit, they showed an interest in me, and I got a hug from 50% of them. And at this stage of my life, I probably could have been struck by lightning and my life would have been a success.
As a post script, come Monday, between 2nd and 3rd period, I walked past her locker where I know I saw her daily. So confidently and excitedly I approach the locker, she looks up and we make direct eye contact. As I say "Hey Mand..." she turns away to say something to someone nearby. My inner reaction was something like this. But outwardly, I scoffed and walked on. I was crestfallen. Luckily I didn't go through with my plans to make that skank a Michael Bolton starter kit. None of those girls said more than 2 words to me the rest of my time at f-ing HHS.
These days, looking at that incident, I am more embarrassed about Fri night than the horror of Mon. I know girls are tricky and finicky minx. They often lie and act completely different in two situations. I know that I should take all initial greatness with a grain of salt. So Monday is not a completely shocking turn of events. No, Friday and the fact that I became a giddy school girl over that minuscule nonsense, thats what sticks in my gut. Just imagine how lame the rest of the 4 years were if that was the apex of my years. And Ill leave you with the fact that I capped off my HS years at Senior prom...by being ditched by my date for a black cheerleader. Yep, no lies there. I can truthfully say Miami University saved my life.
So there is one song that I feel just encapsulates my whole childhood. Not the lyrics, but just the fact that I grew up with the song and being obsessed with it on the radio when I was about 12 showed me that I really loved music. It was the first song I ever performed at an open mic, and just still blows my mind everytime. Up till then it was just top 40 nonsense. Its The Gufs-Smile. Its still in my top 5 fav songs of all time and it brings me back to all the positives of growing up in Mequon, WI. They are from Milwaukee and were HUGE in the mid-late 90s there. I was shocked when I came to college and most people had never heard of them. But I seek to bring them to everyone one person at a time. I saw them this summer at a 20th anniversary show with the Milwaukee Symphony, and it was just indescribably amazing.
Enjoy the weekend.
"I tried to live without you for awhile, and I can now control you with a smile..."
JW
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
This is Top Chef, Not Top Scallop!
So I was asked to dedicate some time to Top Chef. As many of you know, I am a huge Top Chef fan. At its base, I think its the best reality show on TV cause it serves to measure something and at it seemed, for the most part, to revolve more around specific contestants performances, rather than their personalities, or drama quotients, or how pretty they were.
Let me preface this by saying that I haven't seen the Finale yet. I had other commitments last night and therefore will be viewing the Finale later tonight. That being said, I am almost 100% confident in saying that I believe Carla will win it.
Anyways, I enjoyed this season a decent amount, but I feel early on that it took a turn for the worst in terms of the grading criteria and who was being put through each week. And it comes down to "Producers have final say in all decisions." Which means no matter what the judges believe and have to say, at the end, the producers eliminate who they believe is not doing the most for the show, usually with ratings. In the past, it was a minor issue, but this season I feel like it got bad. And you could often see it with the lame reasoning the judges were issuing for why they were sending chefs home.
It started most notably with Radhika. She was sent home at the end of the Restaurant Wars episodes for not being good enough in the front of house. This is a show about Top Chefs, and their food. She won the Quickfire for having the best dish, and then by all accounts, the two teams were quite close in terms of their food. Well Radhika is sent home for not being an attentive enough host, which really is not her forte...which is why she is a chef. She was too busy worrying about the actual food preparation and serving. Meanwhile, on the other side, Leah had no control over her kitchen and her actual dish was complete crap. But her team came out on top, probably because there was some queer burgeoning love affair with her and Hosea. So why did Radhika get kicked off? Well I believe its cause she minded her own business and just cooked, she wasn't dynamic enough.
Leah is another great example of a mediocre chef who made it far in the competition for reasons other than her food. Week after week, she made lame dishes and kept sliding right through inexplicably. I mean, she won a competition with a NY strip with an simple salad. I mean honestly? I make that meal twice a week and I am no chef. But then again, from the second week on, they were playing up the little romance between her and Hosea, so you knew she wasn't going anywhere.
My personal favorite, Jeff, I feel got the shaft cause, much like Radhika, he was too low key. He was soft-spoken and very non-confrontational. But he made brilliant creative food, which then was chastised for being "too much". And the fact that in the episode he was eliminate, he and his opponent made similar dishes, ceviches, and hers was warm, while a ceviche is by definition cold, but he still lost was ridiculous. I just viewed it as an opportunity for them to eliminate him in favor of more dynamic and outspoken characters. I mean, I believe it was a bottom 3 of Fabio, Stefan, and Jeff. In that situation, Jeff had no chance.
Fabio is an interesting situation. Obviously a hilarious and likeable character, I believe he got away with some lesser dishes early on because of the overall draw of his character. As the show progressed, I really think he gained some steam, but when it came to the creation of the final 3, he just didn't factor as prominently into the storyline as the rest of the 3.
So now we have our final 3, Stefan, Hosea, and Carla. Before addressing them, I just remembered the judging criteria that has bothered me the most. So the judges say that it is all what have you done for me lately. It comes down to that episodes dish and what the contestants did. Their prior success doesn't factor in. While I think that is garbage, it is acceptable as long as its consistent. However, I don't think it was.
Stefan. Undeniably the strongest chef by far through to the last 4-5 contestants. But as of late, his dishes were a bit uninspired and frankly at the bottom of the pile. However, 1) he is very incendiary and creates plenty of drama and 2) he was a good chef thus far. So I feel like he is slipping by based on the strength of past performances as a result of #1. If he was judged primarily on what was done that episode like plenty of other contestants, we wouldn't be seeing him in the final 3.
Hosea. I have no damn clue how he has made it here to the final. He got by pretty far because of his situation with Leah. And I feel like now he is still around cause dude is constantly bitching about Stefan for one reason or another. If you look at his food, its been all meh. I mean, I can't recall a single uber standout dish. The man is a seafood chef at a seafood restaurant but each fish dish he has done, has worked out poorly and been frankly disappointing. I mean, I had nothing against him, but I got tired of seeing people like Fabio and Jeff go home while Hosea slides by with another 3rd place dish. And now all he does is gripe about Stefan constantly, so he has run his course. Go home and break up with your gf so you can be with your lover, horse face Leah.
Now we come to my projected winner, Carla. She was annoyed the hell out of me the entire show. Sure, she has had some funny moments, but for the most part, she is over the top and just really starts to get on my nerve with her hysterics. I feel like she would be a good contestant on the Real World. But you could see early on that she was a producer favorite based on the number of appearances and foreshadowing of her victories. I will give credit where credit is due and say that she has been very good with her food the last episode or two. But the problem I have with her is the simplicity of what she does. Granted I am not eating it, but she never seems to wow me. Her best dishes have been where she is replicating someone else's dish or putting her own touch on something else. Just "adding the love" if you will. However, her quirkiness and her story about coming from non cooking background, and her husband and son, etc.. struck a chord with some people and the producers and that will propel her.
Who do I think should win? I dont like him especially, but I would have to say Stefan. He has been exceptional in quickfire and elimination challenges and his foot is clever and very technically well done. But I think his unlikability will hurt him in the end. Who knows. But mark it down, Carla for the win.
So I was going through CDs I have and I realized I hadn't listened to Tell All Your Friends by Taking Back Sunday. Now when most people think of older TBS, they think of Cute Without the E or You're So Last Summer. Both awesome songs, but instead, let me offer to you You Know How I Do. Its the first track off the CD and I can remember putting it into my CD player in my car, Junior year of HS, and it just blowing my mind. 7 years later, this CD is still in my top 3 of all time and never gets old. Just bloody brilliant. Oh and if you can handle it, check out the B side from that disc, The Ballad of Sal Villanueva. Not a very well known song, but amazing for jumping off couches and moshing with people in a basment...not that I would know....
"We won't stand for hazy eyes any more, we won't stand for..."
JW
Let me preface this by saying that I haven't seen the Finale yet. I had other commitments last night and therefore will be viewing the Finale later tonight. That being said, I am almost 100% confident in saying that I believe Carla will win it.
Anyways, I enjoyed this season a decent amount, but I feel early on that it took a turn for the worst in terms of the grading criteria and who was being put through each week. And it comes down to "Producers have final say in all decisions." Which means no matter what the judges believe and have to say, at the end, the producers eliminate who they believe is not doing the most for the show, usually with ratings. In the past, it was a minor issue, but this season I feel like it got bad. And you could often see it with the lame reasoning the judges were issuing for why they were sending chefs home.
It started most notably with Radhika. She was sent home at the end of the Restaurant Wars episodes for not being good enough in the front of house. This is a show about Top Chefs, and their food. She won the Quickfire for having the best dish, and then by all accounts, the two teams were quite close in terms of their food. Well Radhika is sent home for not being an attentive enough host, which really is not her forte...which is why she is a chef. She was too busy worrying about the actual food preparation and serving. Meanwhile, on the other side, Leah had no control over her kitchen and her actual dish was complete crap. But her team came out on top, probably because there was some queer burgeoning love affair with her and Hosea. So why did Radhika get kicked off? Well I believe its cause she minded her own business and just cooked, she wasn't dynamic enough.
Leah is another great example of a mediocre chef who made it far in the competition for reasons other than her food. Week after week, she made lame dishes and kept sliding right through inexplicably. I mean, she won a competition with a NY strip with an simple salad. I mean honestly? I make that meal twice a week and I am no chef. But then again, from the second week on, they were playing up the little romance between her and Hosea, so you knew she wasn't going anywhere.
My personal favorite, Jeff, I feel got the shaft cause, much like Radhika, he was too low key. He was soft-spoken and very non-confrontational. But he made brilliant creative food, which then was chastised for being "too much". And the fact that in the episode he was eliminate, he and his opponent made similar dishes, ceviches, and hers was warm, while a ceviche is by definition cold, but he still lost was ridiculous. I just viewed it as an opportunity for them to eliminate him in favor of more dynamic and outspoken characters. I mean, I believe it was a bottom 3 of Fabio, Stefan, and Jeff. In that situation, Jeff had no chance.
Fabio is an interesting situation. Obviously a hilarious and likeable character, I believe he got away with some lesser dishes early on because of the overall draw of his character. As the show progressed, I really think he gained some steam, but when it came to the creation of the final 3, he just didn't factor as prominently into the storyline as the rest of the 3.
So now we have our final 3, Stefan, Hosea, and Carla. Before addressing them, I just remembered the judging criteria that has bothered me the most. So the judges say that it is all what have you done for me lately. It comes down to that episodes dish and what the contestants did. Their prior success doesn't factor in. While I think that is garbage, it is acceptable as long as its consistent. However, I don't think it was.
Stefan. Undeniably the strongest chef by far through to the last 4-5 contestants. But as of late, his dishes were a bit uninspired and frankly at the bottom of the pile. However, 1) he is very incendiary and creates plenty of drama and 2) he was a good chef thus far. So I feel like he is slipping by based on the strength of past performances as a result of #1. If he was judged primarily on what was done that episode like plenty of other contestants, we wouldn't be seeing him in the final 3.
Hosea. I have no damn clue how he has made it here to the final. He got by pretty far because of his situation with Leah. And I feel like now he is still around cause dude is constantly bitching about Stefan for one reason or another. If you look at his food, its been all meh. I mean, I can't recall a single uber standout dish. The man is a seafood chef at a seafood restaurant but each fish dish he has done, has worked out poorly and been frankly disappointing. I mean, I had nothing against him, but I got tired of seeing people like Fabio and Jeff go home while Hosea slides by with another 3rd place dish. And now all he does is gripe about Stefan constantly, so he has run his course. Go home and break up with your gf so you can be with your lover, horse face Leah.
Now we come to my projected winner, Carla. She was annoyed the hell out of me the entire show. Sure, she has had some funny moments, but for the most part, she is over the top and just really starts to get on my nerve with her hysterics. I feel like she would be a good contestant on the Real World. But you could see early on that she was a producer favorite based on the number of appearances and foreshadowing of her victories. I will give credit where credit is due and say that she has been very good with her food the last episode or two. But the problem I have with her is the simplicity of what she does. Granted I am not eating it, but she never seems to wow me. Her best dishes have been where she is replicating someone else's dish or putting her own touch on something else. Just "adding the love" if you will. However, her quirkiness and her story about coming from non cooking background, and her husband and son, etc.. struck a chord with some people and the producers and that will propel her.
Who do I think should win? I dont like him especially, but I would have to say Stefan. He has been exceptional in quickfire and elimination challenges and his foot is clever and very technically well done. But I think his unlikability will hurt him in the end. Who knows. But mark it down, Carla for the win.
So I was going through CDs I have and I realized I hadn't listened to Tell All Your Friends by Taking Back Sunday. Now when most people think of older TBS, they think of Cute Without the E or You're So Last Summer. Both awesome songs, but instead, let me offer to you You Know How I Do. Its the first track off the CD and I can remember putting it into my CD player in my car, Junior year of HS, and it just blowing my mind. 7 years later, this CD is still in my top 3 of all time and never gets old. Just bloody brilliant. Oh and if you can handle it, check out the B side from that disc, The Ballad of Sal Villanueva. Not a very well known song, but amazing for jumping off couches and moshing with people in a basment...not that I would know....
"We won't stand for hazy eyes any more, we won't stand for..."
JW
Monday, February 23, 2009
So this is the first night in over a week that I've had internet at my apartment. I was in an essential internet blackout since my computer went down awhile back. My dad gave me an old laptop from his office and told me to use it until my computer came back to life...like the New Kids on the Block oooohhhh. Anyways, I couldn't use it because I didn't have the proper software to use my wireless card. So I was miserably detached from the world. I have no cable, no internet, and no job, it was my own personal hell. I was tempted to spend my days sitting on my windowsill and gazing longingly out the window like a cat, or one of those pathetic women from a pharmaceutical commercial. But then I realized that my windows faced a crusty Shell station, so I quickly altered that idea. Then yesterday, I realized that I had an older laptop from a long time ago that I had used as a back up at Miami. So I popped my card and, like magic, I was reconnected from the world.
It was definitely an experience not having internet. I came to realize that there are approximately 25 judge/court shows on daytime TV. Thanks Judge Judy for creating a monster and polluting every channel with white trash suing their former roommates for $25 cause they got drunk and broke a desk lamp. As a result, I gave up on TV and took to reading. I read 4 books in a week and was going to bed at a reasonable hour every night cause I had nothing else to do. In the past, I would stay up till all hours of the night, cause lets be honest, there is always something to entertain you on the internet, so why waste you time with boring things like sleeping. Oh the irony considering sleep is one of my favorite things ever, but not so much the initial falling asleep part.
Alright, enough of boring running commentary comparing my lack of internet to some sort of Amish existence. Last Wed night, I was driving back to Chicago from Milwaukee when a nifty little snowstorm blew in. It was a minor nuisance as I approached the WI/IL border until I tried switching lanes and was meeting some snow resistance. I ignored this foreshadowing and continued driving as if it was a dry pavement, summer day. Well I crossed the border and, as anyone who has taken 94 North to Milwaukee knows, there is kind of an S shaped stretch just before the first toll. Well I was in the middle of this stretch going around 65 when all of a sudden the stability control started beeping at me. Oh Shit, considering I wasn't accelerating or turning, that means that my wheels no longer were in contract with the pavement to a safe degree...and then I immediately started fishtailing. Its funny in these situations how your body kind of kicks into gear and just takes control. I alternated breaking and gripping the wheel, terrified, trying madly to not slam into the median. Well I came to a stop about 18 in from the median and took a minute to look skyward and thank the heavens that I was not all messed up. Well I completed the drive, noticing the myriad of accidents literally lining the highway. I got home and was just really excited to do everything: drink Gatorade, read a book, lay in my bed....
I don't want to get all sappy and say I had a moment where I realized my own mortality, cause I didn't. It was an instance where I realized I probably dodged a bullet and got lucky. And its funny too, cause you always see these moments in film where people dodge danger and injury and their hands are shaking and they can't function. I checked, but my hands didn't shake. My body just felt really loose and kind of clammy, but overall I just felt intense and really focused that, dammit, I am going to make it home without any trouble. But overall, again, I realized that I am pretty blessed that one of my most troublesome and stressful moments in recent memory was an almost-accident that didn't end up happening. Maybe life isn't that bad, right? Though if I see the Shiny Toy Guns commercial on NBC commercial one more time, I may drive off the road.
So I went to see my friends, Powerspace, play a show at the Beat Kitchen in Chicago right after Christmas. I went to the show solo, cause im awesome and so secure with my singularity, but started talking to this guy in the back during the set, initially cause he complimented my vest. Well turns out he was the lead singer of a band called the White Tie Affair and they were the headliner that night. Long story short, he was incredibly cool, pretty chill and refreshingly not annoyingly name dropping his band and trying to make me become a Myspace friend. Well I turned on MTV when I was at home last Tues, and whadda ya know, The White Tie Affair-Candle was on. Go figure. Its kind of poppy and they are a bit sugary for my taste. But solid dudes, the song is uber catchy, and I heard it on the radio when I was at Walgreens today. So give it a spin, its pretty bitchin'.
"I know we're hanging at the end of the road, flown to high and made a swarm too low..."
JW
It was definitely an experience not having internet. I came to realize that there are approximately 25 judge/court shows on daytime TV. Thanks Judge Judy for creating a monster and polluting every channel with white trash suing their former roommates for $25 cause they got drunk and broke a desk lamp. As a result, I gave up on TV and took to reading. I read 4 books in a week and was going to bed at a reasonable hour every night cause I had nothing else to do. In the past, I would stay up till all hours of the night, cause lets be honest, there is always something to entertain you on the internet, so why waste you time with boring things like sleeping. Oh the irony considering sleep is one of my favorite things ever, but not so much the initial falling asleep part.
Alright, enough of boring running commentary comparing my lack of internet to some sort of Amish existence. Last Wed night, I was driving back to Chicago from Milwaukee when a nifty little snowstorm blew in. It was a minor nuisance as I approached the WI/IL border until I tried switching lanes and was meeting some snow resistance. I ignored this foreshadowing and continued driving as if it was a dry pavement, summer day. Well I crossed the border and, as anyone who has taken 94 North to Milwaukee knows, there is kind of an S shaped stretch just before the first toll. Well I was in the middle of this stretch going around 65 when all of a sudden the stability control started beeping at me. Oh Shit, considering I wasn't accelerating or turning, that means that my wheels no longer were in contract with the pavement to a safe degree...and then I immediately started fishtailing. Its funny in these situations how your body kind of kicks into gear and just takes control. I alternated breaking and gripping the wheel, terrified, trying madly to not slam into the median. Well I came to a stop about 18 in from the median and took a minute to look skyward and thank the heavens that I was not all messed up. Well I completed the drive, noticing the myriad of accidents literally lining the highway. I got home and was just really excited to do everything: drink Gatorade, read a book, lay in my bed....
I don't want to get all sappy and say I had a moment where I realized my own mortality, cause I didn't. It was an instance where I realized I probably dodged a bullet and got lucky. And its funny too, cause you always see these moments in film where people dodge danger and injury and their hands are shaking and they can't function. I checked, but my hands didn't shake. My body just felt really loose and kind of clammy, but overall I just felt intense and really focused that, dammit, I am going to make it home without any trouble. But overall, again, I realized that I am pretty blessed that one of my most troublesome and stressful moments in recent memory was an almost-accident that didn't end up happening. Maybe life isn't that bad, right? Though if I see the Shiny Toy Guns commercial on NBC commercial one more time, I may drive off the road.
So I went to see my friends, Powerspace, play a show at the Beat Kitchen in Chicago right after Christmas. I went to the show solo, cause im awesome and so secure with my singularity, but started talking to this guy in the back during the set, initially cause he complimented my vest. Well turns out he was the lead singer of a band called the White Tie Affair and they were the headliner that night. Long story short, he was incredibly cool, pretty chill and refreshingly not annoyingly name dropping his band and trying to make me become a Myspace friend. Well I turned on MTV when I was at home last Tues, and whadda ya know, The White Tie Affair-Candle was on. Go figure. Its kind of poppy and they are a bit sugary for my taste. But solid dudes, the song is uber catchy, and I heard it on the radio when I was at Walgreens today. So give it a spin, its pretty bitchin'.
"I know we're hanging at the end of the road, flown to high and made a swarm too low..."
JW
Monday, February 16, 2009
Down with the Sickness
Happy Monday everyone...well I guess Monday is almost over, but you get my well-meaning jist. In any case, I would like to send a special message and shoutout to any computer hackers/creators of malware/virus manufacturers and in general all the fat computers nerds who are living in their parent's basement with their custom build Alienware computer who create viruses and Trojans and all forms of computer nastiness all day because they never developed social skills and were thus shunned at school and this is their form of lame revenge...fuck you guys. Seriously, fuck you in your mouth in between the cheesy poofs and cases of Mountain Dew you ingest. Honestly, I hope World of Warcraft servers worldwide suddenly shut down and you have no more clan meetings to get you hard during the day when you are not creating viruses and other needless crap to screw up my computers and the computers of countless others. Maybe you will be too sad to write the newest skanky virus cause you haven't spoken to your internet girlfriend cause WOW is down, who you have never seen cause she lives in Finland, but you know she must be hot cause she is a level 43 Fire Mage. I hate all of you with the burning fury of 854 STDs.
Phew, that felt good. I am remote writing this post from a friends computer as my computer right now is currently more screwed than Bernie Madoff. I haven't derived enjoyment from viruses on any of my electronics since I got bored playing Dr. Mario for Nintendo. In those days, viruses were vibrantly colored and stacked in sweet Tetris-like fashion. Now they just make my life annoying.
My computer boots up and shows my desktop wallpaper...and nothing else, save for a phew messages informing me that vital programs can't start up. Stupendous. You have not yet felt true boredom till you spend all day in your apartment with no computer and no internet. Hmm, I need to check my e-mail, NO! Whats the weather like? Stick your head out the window cause you sure aren't going to weather.com! Whats this horrible rash? I better check WebMD...nope better go to the walk-in clinic. (No I do not have a rash. The redness all over my face is just anger at the fucking hacker douchenozzle who put me in such a predicament).
Blah, oh well. I'll just have to play video games until my fingers bleed or something.
So, Northstar-To My Better Angel. Northstar is easily one of my favorite bands and really one of the more underrated bands in the whole pop punk genre. I saw them open for another band I really like and was like "hmm, they are not bad." Then I promptly forgot about them for a year before stumbling upon one of their cds. Over the next two hours I became obsessed and looked online for tour dates, only to find they had broken up a month earlier...FML. Either way, their lyrics are brilliant, melodies are hellaciously catchy, and satisfaction is guarenteed. Hopefully your computer doesn't come down with a Trojan Vundo virus like mine when you are rocking out to Northstar's awesomeness.
"And operator, I can't hold much longer, can't hold much longer, can't hold on..."
JW
Phew, that felt good. I am remote writing this post from a friends computer as my computer right now is currently more screwed than Bernie Madoff. I haven't derived enjoyment from viruses on any of my electronics since I got bored playing Dr. Mario for Nintendo. In those days, viruses were vibrantly colored and stacked in sweet Tetris-like fashion. Now they just make my life annoying.
My computer boots up and shows my desktop wallpaper...and nothing else, save for a phew messages informing me that vital programs can't start up. Stupendous. You have not yet felt true boredom till you spend all day in your apartment with no computer and no internet. Hmm, I need to check my e-mail, NO! Whats the weather like? Stick your head out the window cause you sure aren't going to weather.com! Whats this horrible rash? I better check WebMD...nope better go to the walk-in clinic. (No I do not have a rash. The redness all over my face is just anger at the fucking hacker douchenozzle who put me in such a predicament).
Blah, oh well. I'll just have to play video games until my fingers bleed or something.
So, Northstar-To My Better Angel. Northstar is easily one of my favorite bands and really one of the more underrated bands in the whole pop punk genre. I saw them open for another band I really like and was like "hmm, they are not bad." Then I promptly forgot about them for a year before stumbling upon one of their cds. Over the next two hours I became obsessed and looked online for tour dates, only to find they had broken up a month earlier...FML. Either way, their lyrics are brilliant, melodies are hellaciously catchy, and satisfaction is guarenteed. Hopefully your computer doesn't come down with a Trojan Vundo virus like mine when you are rocking out to Northstar's awesomeness.
"And operator, I can't hold much longer, can't hold much longer, can't hold on..."
JW
Thursday, February 12, 2009
ASL and Ipods
This morning, I went downtown to sign the paperwork and agreements to start my new trading job. In the midst of my excitement, I was mentally bogged down by the fact that I didn't start for another month, and even once I start, I'm not paid during training and my starting pay is quite meager. Now I knew all of this going in, but I still think I didn't fully process it. And so then I started to stress about it. Awesome. I mean, I'm drawn towards meaningless stress and overthinking the way Chris Brown's fists are drawn toward Rhianna's face. Its that natural of a movement.
So it made me think...when did I suddenly become old and grown up? I'm worrying about paying rent and budgeting and insurance premiums. 9 months ago my biggest worry was which bar I was going to arrive at in order to grind on freshmen, or whether to mix my Crow that night with sour mix or Diet Coke. Now in the last 9 months, I've gotten a job, been laid off, sat unemployed for over a month, and had my parents tell me that they love and support me and will help our financially, but if something doesnt change, I'm going to have to come back to Milwaukee, and then finally found a job I'm really excited about...woof.
Faced with these sobering thoughts and ruminations, I turned to the only place I knew to go when I needed comfort or mental ease...heroin. Now now, I kid I kid. I popped in my headphones and fired up the MP3 player and set about to cleanse my negative thoughts while doing adult stuff like cleaning my apartment and grocery shopping.
Now, in my enlightened opinion, the hardest thing to do in life is stay happy and positive. Not to mean that I am a negative or pessimistic person, I would imagine most of my friends would say differently, but think about it, how easy is it to fall into negativity. To whine, complain, create your own pity party. I personally can pick out a theme and send out invitations for such a party in about 5 minutes. So I resisted this urge, turned the volume up to 11 and went to Jewel (the grocery store, though "Who Will Save Your Soul" may have been oddly appropriate). If you haven't grocery shopped by yourself with an Ipod, Zune, or the like, I highly recommend it. Its kind of cathartic. Its a busy bustling place, but turn up the music enough and you are in your own world. Put on the right song and everything kind of becomes detached and you are watching from a distance though you are right there. I immediately started to feel better.
As I came around the corner, I almost ran into a little boy, probably 6-7, pushing a shopping cart. He didn't notice me, but when he did, he quickly maneuvered the cart, which was 3 times his size, out of the way and motioned for me to pass. I noticed his hearing aids and it made sense why he didn't hear me coming and I subsequently almost truck sticked him. So I smiled and signed "Thank you" to him. (I babysat for 3 sisters when I was 14-15, the youngest of whom was deaf. I learned ASL to try to communicate a bit better with the youngest and her sisters thought it was really cool. The 4 of us got to signing exclusively sometimes, so I would be there for a few hours and few words were even spoken. It was pretty badass if I don't say so myself.) But getting back to the story, this kid immediately got really pumped and with a huge smile signed back "Thanks, have fun shopping." I then stuck out my hand for a high five, received it enthusiastically, and continued on my way. It was my second such high five in my last two trips to the grocery store. Little kids rule.
So I went from feeling better to pretty much euphoric. As I was driving home I realized its all about perspective. I might be cash strapped for the near future, but I'm going to have a shot at pursuing what I really want to do. Little kids dishing out high fives can brighten even the crankiest of moods. And when all else fails, throw on the Ipod and all your activities suddenly have a soundtrack. I had a friend in college who hilariously stated as we walked across a field on campus, "How much sweeter would this walk be if Bon Jovi was playing in the background?" And its true, it would be awesome.
So as I was talking to the little kid, The Gaslight Anthem- The Patient Ferris Wheel played through my headphones. I have been championing this band for months. They are easily my favorite band I've found since graduating college. I would describe them as punk rock Springsteen. Its just awesome, upbeat music that makes you want to go and do something positive and fun with your life. If you like this, check out Great Expectations, '59 Sound, and High Lonesome. Really just check out The '59 Sound (the album) or Sink or Swim, both incredible and you can't go wrong.
"Ride on, ride on, Ferris Wheel lights on..."
JW
So it made me think...when did I suddenly become old and grown up? I'm worrying about paying rent and budgeting and insurance premiums. 9 months ago my biggest worry was which bar I was going to arrive at in order to grind on freshmen, or whether to mix my Crow that night with sour mix or Diet Coke. Now in the last 9 months, I've gotten a job, been laid off, sat unemployed for over a month, and had my parents tell me that they love and support me and will help our financially, but if something doesnt change, I'm going to have to come back to Milwaukee, and then finally found a job I'm really excited about...woof.
Faced with these sobering thoughts and ruminations, I turned to the only place I knew to go when I needed comfort or mental ease...heroin. Now now, I kid I kid. I popped in my headphones and fired up the MP3 player and set about to cleanse my negative thoughts while doing adult stuff like cleaning my apartment and grocery shopping.
Now, in my enlightened opinion, the hardest thing to do in life is stay happy and positive. Not to mean that I am a negative or pessimistic person, I would imagine most of my friends would say differently, but think about it, how easy is it to fall into negativity. To whine, complain, create your own pity party. I personally can pick out a theme and send out invitations for such a party in about 5 minutes. So I resisted this urge, turned the volume up to 11 and went to Jewel (the grocery store, though "Who Will Save Your Soul" may have been oddly appropriate). If you haven't grocery shopped by yourself with an Ipod, Zune, or the like, I highly recommend it. Its kind of cathartic. Its a busy bustling place, but turn up the music enough and you are in your own world. Put on the right song and everything kind of becomes detached and you are watching from a distance though you are right there. I immediately started to feel better.
As I came around the corner, I almost ran into a little boy, probably 6-7, pushing a shopping cart. He didn't notice me, but when he did, he quickly maneuvered the cart, which was 3 times his size, out of the way and motioned for me to pass. I noticed his hearing aids and it made sense why he didn't hear me coming and I subsequently almost truck sticked him. So I smiled and signed "Thank you" to him. (I babysat for 3 sisters when I was 14-15, the youngest of whom was deaf. I learned ASL to try to communicate a bit better with the youngest and her sisters thought it was really cool. The 4 of us got to signing exclusively sometimes, so I would be there for a few hours and few words were even spoken. It was pretty badass if I don't say so myself.) But getting back to the story, this kid immediately got really pumped and with a huge smile signed back "Thanks, have fun shopping." I then stuck out my hand for a high five, received it enthusiastically, and continued on my way. It was my second such high five in my last two trips to the grocery store. Little kids rule.
So I went from feeling better to pretty much euphoric. As I was driving home I realized its all about perspective. I might be cash strapped for the near future, but I'm going to have a shot at pursuing what I really want to do. Little kids dishing out high fives can brighten even the crankiest of moods. And when all else fails, throw on the Ipod and all your activities suddenly have a soundtrack. I had a friend in college who hilariously stated as we walked across a field on campus, "How much sweeter would this walk be if Bon Jovi was playing in the background?" And its true, it would be awesome.
So as I was talking to the little kid, The Gaslight Anthem- The Patient Ferris Wheel played through my headphones. I have been championing this band for months. They are easily my favorite band I've found since graduating college. I would describe them as punk rock Springsteen. Its just awesome, upbeat music that makes you want to go and do something positive and fun with your life. If you like this, check out Great Expectations, '59 Sound, and High Lonesome. Really just check out The '59 Sound (the album) or Sink or Swim, both incredible and you can't go wrong.
"Ride on, ride on, Ferris Wheel lights on..."
JW
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Whoa-oh oh, Whats love got to do, got to do with it...
So with Valentine's Day quickly approaching, my thoughts have turned to the romantic realm. Specifically how silly this whole holiday is. I'd like to smack Chaucer upside his literary head for being the source of this nonsense. People become all upset and lonely for no reason, just because of some ridiculous date. Really no good comes of this holiday. Life is not a movie where the hot cheerleader suddenly falls for you (you in this case being the awkward, slightly nerdy outcast who is misunderstood by most) just because you give her a half eaten box of chocolates and a heart shaped card made out of construction paper and streamers, all of which she finds oddly endearing. Instead, it ends up being about spending money on gifts and dinner for your loved one all because of this arbitrary date. The funny thing, I believe, is that if your relationship is bound by the chains of love and adoration that this holiday champions, shouldn't these gifts and dinner be commonplace and sporadic, just because? You shouldn't need Hallmark to tell you when to break out the red wine and oysters and gaze lovingly into each other's eyes over candlelight? (I wish I could insert one of those puking smiley face emoticons right here, it would be perfect.) I have never been in a relationship over V-day. Ive had 6 and 9 month relationships, but both, interestingly enough, started in the months shortly after the wicked day. And I frankly have no personal resentment towards the date. I stopped feeling slighted or lonely after my first make-out, when I started to realize I was not a leper, and gosh darnit, people thought I was desirable (this wasn't until senior year of HS, but don't you judge me).
Valentine's Day frankly stopped being awesome around 6th grade. Thats when you moved onto middle school and Valentine's Day no longer meant everyone in the class having a party and giving each other valentines and candy and such. I mean, I remember 2nd grade, we made our own valentine holders out of milk cartons and turned them into dragons and stuff. I mean, thats fricken awesome. At that point, Valentine's Day was right up there with Christmas and my birthday in terms of holiday joy. The next year, oddly enough, leading up to this sugary celebration, I had a huge crush on Kelly Rippl. So I was eagerly anticipating some sort of cool valentine, maybe a Ninja Turtle, or perhaps Ducktales. Hell, it was from Kelly, so it could have been a Care Bear and I would have been slapping high fives with everyone. I would have been that excited. However, I had this sneaking suspicion that this cuckolding minx really liked Scott Urbasich, who was one of my mortal 3rd grade enemies. I would have never known though, because we were all supposed to make out valentines more or less equal, so nobody in the class felt slighted or upset.
Well Kelly drops off my valentine (it was Super Mario...nice), and I read it. "Hi Justin, Bye Justin"...WTF?!!? What the hell kind of valentine was this? I turn to my friend Sam and he got the same thing. I was peeved. I balled up my little fists into spheres of rage and made a beeline for Scott's holder as he went to the bathroom. As Mrs. Vopel yelled at me not to touch Scott's things, I found the valentine and opened it as he came running back. "I like you. -Love, Kelly".
What a skank. I ripped it in half and tried to sneak back to my desk. Too late, I had made a huge scene and was stripped of recess for the rest of the week. Fuck you St. Valentine, martyr my ass.
On a different note, I just returned from Colorado. When I was there, I had dinner and drinks with my ex gf Ashley, who lives in Denver, and her bf. Now Ashley is from Denver originally and I met her at Miami my freshman year. We both got lame GPAs because pre-med blows, and both spent the first semesters of our soph years at home. She subsequently transferred to the U of Colorado and I came back to Miami. We did the long distance all fall, but I was an immature tool and couldn't handle it. So we broke up in November, right before Thanksgiving of 04. This is significant because I had visited her at the end of October in CO and that was the last time I had seen her in person. After a fairly nasty breakup and cooling off period of around 6 months. We began talking again, and I now consider her one of my best friends. We talk every other week or so and generally have an awesome relationship. But for various reasons, we had not seen each other in almost 5 years.
Well, I meet them for dinner and it was just the most surreal thing. Aside from the fact that we were not dating and were very different people than we were our freshmen years of college, nothing changed. It was not awkward, it was not tense or strange. Her bf is a really cool guy and I got along with him immediately. It was just one of those moments which seem automatically destined for weirdness or an awkward story, and instead it ended up being probably the highlight of my trip. Its just really cool to think that I have these kind of relationships in my life. I mean, we dated for 9 months, we know each other really well, and its to the point that we are comfortable enough with our pasts that we are both go-tos for our respective problems in the present, whether it be relationships, professionally, or emotionally. It may sound weird to discuss relationship issues with an ex, but I realize its a unique situation and wouldn't trade it for the world. I guess this is growing up...
So today's song is Mika-Happy Ending. Now I'm not a huge Mika fan, I appreciate the Queen influence, but most of it is just too meh and flaming for me. But Happy Ending is a damn masterpiece. The layered backing vocals and crescendos at the end are just incredible. And its ironic, because the title conveys happiness and idk, a happy ending? But its really quite a bitter, saddish song. So its perfect, there was a happy ending in CO, but Valentine's Day is really a bitter saddish day for most, though unnecessarily.
"This is the way that we love, like its forever. Then live the rest of our lives, but not together..."
JW
Valentine's Day frankly stopped being awesome around 6th grade. Thats when you moved onto middle school and Valentine's Day no longer meant everyone in the class having a party and giving each other valentines and candy and such. I mean, I remember 2nd grade, we made our own valentine holders out of milk cartons and turned them into dragons and stuff. I mean, thats fricken awesome. At that point, Valentine's Day was right up there with Christmas and my birthday in terms of holiday joy. The next year, oddly enough, leading up to this sugary celebration, I had a huge crush on Kelly Rippl. So I was eagerly anticipating some sort of cool valentine, maybe a Ninja Turtle, or perhaps Ducktales. Hell, it was from Kelly, so it could have been a Care Bear and I would have been slapping high fives with everyone. I would have been that excited. However, I had this sneaking suspicion that this cuckolding minx really liked Scott Urbasich, who was one of my mortal 3rd grade enemies. I would have never known though, because we were all supposed to make out valentines more or less equal, so nobody in the class felt slighted or upset.
Well Kelly drops off my valentine (it was Super Mario...nice), and I read it. "Hi Justin, Bye Justin"...WTF?!!? What the hell kind of valentine was this? I turn to my friend Sam and he got the same thing. I was peeved. I balled up my little fists into spheres of rage and made a beeline for Scott's holder as he went to the bathroom. As Mrs. Vopel yelled at me not to touch Scott's things, I found the valentine and opened it as he came running back. "I like you. -Love, Kelly".
What a skank. I ripped it in half and tried to sneak back to my desk. Too late, I had made a huge scene and was stripped of recess for the rest of the week. Fuck you St. Valentine, martyr my ass.
On a different note, I just returned from Colorado. When I was there, I had dinner and drinks with my ex gf Ashley, who lives in Denver, and her bf. Now Ashley is from Denver originally and I met her at Miami my freshman year. We both got lame GPAs because pre-med blows, and both spent the first semesters of our soph years at home. She subsequently transferred to the U of Colorado and I came back to Miami. We did the long distance all fall, but I was an immature tool and couldn't handle it. So we broke up in November, right before Thanksgiving of 04. This is significant because I had visited her at the end of October in CO and that was the last time I had seen her in person. After a fairly nasty breakup and cooling off period of around 6 months. We began talking again, and I now consider her one of my best friends. We talk every other week or so and generally have an awesome relationship. But for various reasons, we had not seen each other in almost 5 years.
Well, I meet them for dinner and it was just the most surreal thing. Aside from the fact that we were not dating and were very different people than we were our freshmen years of college, nothing changed. It was not awkward, it was not tense or strange. Her bf is a really cool guy and I got along with him immediately. It was just one of those moments which seem automatically destined for weirdness or an awkward story, and instead it ended up being probably the highlight of my trip. Its just really cool to think that I have these kind of relationships in my life. I mean, we dated for 9 months, we know each other really well, and its to the point that we are comfortable enough with our pasts that we are both go-tos for our respective problems in the present, whether it be relationships, professionally, or emotionally. It may sound weird to discuss relationship issues with an ex, but I realize its a unique situation and wouldn't trade it for the world. I guess this is growing up...
So today's song is Mika-Happy Ending. Now I'm not a huge Mika fan, I appreciate the Queen influence, but most of it is just too meh and flaming for me. But Happy Ending is a damn masterpiece. The layered backing vocals and crescendos at the end are just incredible. And its ironic, because the title conveys happiness and idk, a happy ending? But its really quite a bitter, saddish song. So its perfect, there was a happy ending in CO, but Valentine's Day is really a bitter saddish day for most, though unnecessarily.
"This is the way that we love, like its forever. Then live the rest of our lives, but not together..."
JW
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Welcome, please take off your shoes and make yourselves at home...
So I've never really considered myself a blogger, but when you think about it, how many times do you have a thought, a story, a joke you just really want to tell someone, but nobody is around? So this seems to be a necessary and useful vehicle, hopefully everyone reading will enjoy the ride.
This initial post will be a bit longer than usual cause there are today is the start of two adventures that I really want to address. First is the birth and maturation of this beautiful blog. And secondly, this morning, as I was finishing the formatting on my own blogging utopia, I received a call from a trading firm I had been interviewing with informing me that they would be extending me an offer.
Now trading (as in trading stocks and whatnot on the exchanges) is what I had wanted to do when I graduated college but I ran into some trouble getting into it. But I was so eager to move to Chicago and just get after it, that I ended up taking a job doing sales with a logistics firm. I really didn't like it and was looking for a way out. Then in December, right before New Years, they informed me and half of my training class (the other half of my training class, with a few exceptions, had already left for multiple reasons) that we were just too awesome and we were being laid off. It was kind of a blessing in disguise, but at the time it was one of the more surreal and difficult things I had ever been through. I wasn't happy there, but I don't think anything can prepare you for being taken into a conference room, being informed that "its in the best interest of both parties to discontinue this relationship", and then leaving the room to find they already cleaned out your desk and had your stuff so you couldn't even go back to your desk. Then you get escorted out of the building...
After a week, you get slapped in the face with the reality of "what am I going to do now?" I mean it was quite a slap, I hadn't been whacked across the face since I used to try to dance with hot sorority girls at Miami. Luckily, I had actually been interviewing with a different company for an outside sales position and had received an offer a few days earlier. But I really was not feeling the company or the position, but now I was jobless so I just took it, cause lucky for me I had a job...or so I thought. A week and a half later I started at the company and after the first day, the realization that I made completely the wrong choice washed over me. So in yet another incredibly difficult and awkward moment, I called my new boss the next morning at 745 and informed him that I would no longer continue with the company.
So that awkwardness behind me, I now had to continue on the job search. Cue the most stressful, boring, and antsy month of my life. My parents, God bless them, were extremely supportive and helpful both emotionally and monetarily. But there was the truth hanging over me that if something didn't come about soon, I may have to leave Chicago and move back to Milwaukee. Talk about humbling and scary. I had spent the last 6 months carving out an identity and place for myself in the city that I had wanted to move to since I was 10, and now I was in danger of losing it all...
But fate smiled upon me with this opportunity. A trading firm, well known for a phenomenal training program, and I got through to the final interview. And as I went through, we parted ways and he let me know that if I received and offer, I would be starting mid March. As if it could not get any better, I have a cruise booked and paid for back in October that leaves the first week of March that I was worried I may not be able to go on due to a new job. But I dodged that bullet as well.
So now more than ever I believe that everything happens for a reason and life is really about riding the storm out. So dear readers, if things are rough right now, hang in there. Like T.I. says... All you can do is handle it, worst thing you can do is panic.
Which brings me to my last point, I want to end every post with a song of the day/moment/etc...
Right now its T.I.-No Matter What. My respect and adoration for T.I. knows no bounds and Paper Trail really is just a CD full of some of the more mature introspection and commentary Ive ever heard in the genre. No Matter What specifically just is kind of oddly inspirational and motivational. If the man can face a year in prison and still be like, no worries, Im gonna be alright, then I can deal with my business.
"Wonder how I can face years and I'm still chillin, easy, let go and let God deal with it..."
JW
This initial post will be a bit longer than usual cause there are today is the start of two adventures that I really want to address. First is the birth and maturation of this beautiful blog. And secondly, this morning, as I was finishing the formatting on my own blogging utopia, I received a call from a trading firm I had been interviewing with informing me that they would be extending me an offer.
Now trading (as in trading stocks and whatnot on the exchanges) is what I had wanted to do when I graduated college but I ran into some trouble getting into it. But I was so eager to move to Chicago and just get after it, that I ended up taking a job doing sales with a logistics firm. I really didn't like it and was looking for a way out. Then in December, right before New Years, they informed me and half of my training class (the other half of my training class, with a few exceptions, had already left for multiple reasons) that we were just too awesome and we were being laid off. It was kind of a blessing in disguise, but at the time it was one of the more surreal and difficult things I had ever been through. I wasn't happy there, but I don't think anything can prepare you for being taken into a conference room, being informed that "its in the best interest of both parties to discontinue this relationship", and then leaving the room to find they already cleaned out your desk and had your stuff so you couldn't even go back to your desk. Then you get escorted out of the building...
After a week, you get slapped in the face with the reality of "what am I going to do now?" I mean it was quite a slap, I hadn't been whacked across the face since I used to try to dance with hot sorority girls at Miami. Luckily, I had actually been interviewing with a different company for an outside sales position and had received an offer a few days earlier. But I really was not feeling the company or the position, but now I was jobless so I just took it, cause lucky for me I had a job...or so I thought. A week and a half later I started at the company and after the first day, the realization that I made completely the wrong choice washed over me. So in yet another incredibly difficult and awkward moment, I called my new boss the next morning at 745 and informed him that I would no longer continue with the company.
So that awkwardness behind me, I now had to continue on the job search. Cue the most stressful, boring, and antsy month of my life. My parents, God bless them, were extremely supportive and helpful both emotionally and monetarily. But there was the truth hanging over me that if something didn't come about soon, I may have to leave Chicago and move back to Milwaukee. Talk about humbling and scary. I had spent the last 6 months carving out an identity and place for myself in the city that I had wanted to move to since I was 10, and now I was in danger of losing it all...
But fate smiled upon me with this opportunity. A trading firm, well known for a phenomenal training program, and I got through to the final interview. And as I went through, we parted ways and he let me know that if I received and offer, I would be starting mid March. As if it could not get any better, I have a cruise booked and paid for back in October that leaves the first week of March that I was worried I may not be able to go on due to a new job. But I dodged that bullet as well.
So now more than ever I believe that everything happens for a reason and life is really about riding the storm out. So dear readers, if things are rough right now, hang in there. Like T.I. says... All you can do is handle it, worst thing you can do is panic.
Which brings me to my last point, I want to end every post with a song of the day/moment/etc...
Right now its T.I.-No Matter What. My respect and adoration for T.I. knows no bounds and Paper Trail really is just a CD full of some of the more mature introspection and commentary Ive ever heard in the genre. No Matter What specifically just is kind of oddly inspirational and motivational. If the man can face a year in prison and still be like, no worries, Im gonna be alright, then I can deal with my business.
"Wonder how I can face years and I'm still chillin, easy, let go and let God deal with it..."
JW
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