So as of late, I've had this little, idk, just nagging feeling that something is off, something is missing, something is rotten in the state of Denmark. For the life of me, I couldn't quite place it. I mean, work, sure but thats nothing new, nothing to propel me into a mini-lull. Girls? For once, girls are not the issue. (Well, they are always an issue. I'm sure I'll be married and think, for once in my harried and frazzled life, girls are not an issue. Then I will have a little hellraiser of a daughter and it will be a whole different kind of mental anguish. Its coming, I think its karma...) Work is an issue, sure, but we have been over that before. Its kind of like getting your arm lopped off in a helicopter accident like that douche from ER. At first its like "Son of a bitch, I only have one fucking arm. This is totally awful. I hate the world, not fair." Then after awhile, you kind of deal with it, and while it would be way cooler to have to functional arms, you gotta play the hand you're dealt. So my pathetic bonus a few weeks ago was a figurative helicopter severing one of my limbs. Fun visual right?
Anyways, I digress. So I break all of these factors down, reflect on a conversation I had with a friend and realize, I am just really restless. Not the kind of restless that you can fix by going on a run or taking a vacation, but the restless deep down where you need some sort of sea change in your life. Let me tell you, its not a great feeling. Its the kind of nagging urge that makes people do stupid things like transfer colleges or move cross country only to regret it months later. Thankfully despite all my worry that I will never be satisfied, I came to realize I was just in one of life's little lulls and it would be over soon. I start grad school in a month and a half, and despite the work and time that will inevitably be involved, I can't be more excited. Sitting in this professional rut, day in and day out, knowing that even though I've only been here 9 months, if I am here in another 9 months, not much will have changed. That's enough to drive any ambitious non-apathetic young governor crazy. So 3 cheers for chasing things you want in a drive to remain sane.
So in the next chapter of "Life never goes as planned", barely 2 years after graduating college, I am going back to grad school, part-time, to get my MBA. Now for those of you who know me, I was never a stellar student. Not for lack of ability or intelligence, but rather a lack of drive and perspective. I didn't blow off classes and coursework in college, but I never really put my nose to the grindstone and strove for the best possible outcomes. I chose to learn via social interactions, musical exploration, and the ancient art of procrastination and diversion. As much as I loved college as an experience and time in my life, I couldn't wait to be finished with the academic course load and move onto a professional life where my evenings were my own and I didn't have to drag around thick textbooks like a caveman's club. So the thought of going back to school initially seemed pretty foreign, but as I examined it, got more and more intriguing. By all accounts, its incredibly different than undergrad and the course work is much more focused towards what you are really actually interested in learning and revolves more around your reasons for continuing your education at the graduate level. So that, to me, is pretty exciting.
I actually had my advisory session on Monday morning. I naturally started like a dumbass, walking into the bursar's office, completely confused, and inquired where I would go for my academic advising session. When the helpful young lady informed me I should go to the 7th floor, I briskly walked away, supremely confident that I knew exactly where to stroll to next...except that the building takes up most of a city block and the 7th floor is thus fucking huge. So I pulled the oh so classic "talking on the phone to my mom" while, I "absentmindedly" looked at a map.
"Oh yeah mom. Of course, yep, mmhmm, oh I need to go to my meeting, bye!"
All those students who gave me odd looks probably had no idea I was completely lost. Peasants...
Anyways, the session was so different than when I was 18. For one, I actually welcomed the help and knew questions to ask instead of being some punk ass freshman who knows everything and chews gum while listening to my Walkman blowing bubbles instead of listening, cause, pssh, I know everything. So that was different. I left the meeting really excited to get back into the classroom and start this next step towards being where I want to be professionally. Its interesting too, cause its like a second chance to be that academic rockstar. I never thought it would make a difference professionally, and then with my recent professional adventures that little Jimminy Cricket on my shoulder appeared "Hey Justin, maybe you should have cared a little more in Stats or Behavioral Psychology and then you would have that awesome job with a hedge fund. HAHA!" Of course I swatted the shit out of that annoying little bastard, but his message rings true. So not only am I now excited about getting a new degree, I'm hell bent on shooting for cum laude. And despite all of this, the thought of a second degree on my wall still seems both strange and funny. We'll see.
I'm off to NYC this weekend to see two of my old roommates from college as well as spend some quality time with my madre. Its really the best of both worlds. Do some shopping and eat at some baller restaurants on the parental dime but also get to hang out with 2 of my best friends in my second favorite city in the country. Its funny, I was only there for 4 months (continuously in the summer of 07, not including my 7-8 odds trips there otherwise) but I feel a sort of weird connection to it. For a city that is so dynamic and fast moving and eclectic, there is an element of stasis that makes it comfortable to go back. For example, last summer, I saw the same man walking a bulldog in front of my Dad's apartment that I used to see all the time. I mean, of course he lives there and probably has for years, but its still neat. And when I return, its not like being a tourist, I don't feel the need to consume as much New York as possible. Just enjoy the city for all its worth. It is so incredibly different that Chicago, but thats what makes it fun to go there now. The contrast is stark. Though I am sure the same roving gangs of Asian tourists perfecting their crouching camera angles and invisible platters pose will make my life a bit more frustrating per usual.
I think the next big rapper out of Atlanta is gonna be B.O.B. Kid is young, seems on his game, I love his flow, and he just seems to have his swagger up. Naturally, being on Grand Hustle Records and affiliating himself with T.I. (someone you all know how much I worship), I think will serve him well. You probably have heard Nothing on You all ready, as its pretty widespread, but it wasn't till I heard Airplane that I really thought he was something special. Hayley Williams, mi amor, from Paramore kills the hook, and there is a ridiculously sweet alternate version where Eminem delivers just a merciless verse towards the end. I mean, vintage fire Em. B.O.B's album just dropped yesterday, so check it out. Its guaranteed solid. He just has the feel of a good one...
"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, I could really use a wish right now..."
JW
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