"Well I talk too much to myself
And I turn my back on my faith
It's like glass when we Break
I wish no one in my place
I can't stand I can't see my way
I feel blind On my feet
I can't stay too long
Am I wrong?"
So Ive been pretty much driving myself crazy the last 2 weeks for really no reason what so ever. There is no real rhyme or reason to my angst or frustration, and it all feels pretty much misplaced. I mean, I try to look at it critically, but then it gets even more confusing. And sometimes people can tell, and they ask, "Whats wrong?" And honestly, I don't know what to tell them, cause outwardly I don't know if anything is...
1) Job: I love work. I have absolutely no job security, get paid next to nothing, and there is no guarantee everything is going to work out and I am going to be making it rain in 6 months, a year, whatever. But I still look forward to getting in to the office of everyday and I look at Monday morning with hope and promise instead of dread.
2) Friends: I have a great group of friends that have my pack and prove time and time again why I can count on them and why I am so thankful to have them in my life.
3) Location: Ive wanted to live in Chicago since I was a little kid, and now I am moving into a new place, in a cool new area of the city that will allow me to immerse myself even more into this crazy cool city.
So I mean, I look at 3 of the more important factors in my life and they are all pretty copasetic. For once, I don't have major gripes about the female gender. They still are spell binding and infuriating, but I have a temporary zen and am just letting them, like the rest of life, come at me at whatever pace is decided. But I can't shake this nagging feeling that there is something missing. Like I have the urge to be extraordinary or do something significant besides being a typical employed 23 year old college grad. One blatant factor is monetary. As much as I hate to let it keep coming back, when you work in a job and an industry thats completely centered on money, not having any is a smidge obnoxious. And that in turn makes it a bit hard to be patient. Not saying I need my mansion and my Ferrari right now, but I would love more disgressionary income. You create this faulty mental assumption that being out of college means having the means to do some awesome stuff you couldn't do when you were stretching your summer job money over the next 9 months. So readjusting that idea is a bit grating. I just want to go out and buy shit that Ive had my eye on for months, while instead I'm busy calculating how I am going to get out of the debt I accumulated when I had no income for months. Fuck me.
Maybe thats the problem, to escape the minor annoyances and inconveniences of daily life, I get wistful and expect something earth moving to come along and change the focus of my attention. But thats also tied in with my worry that I am one of those people that gets too bored too easily. I feel like I constantly need to be re-engaged. For example, one of my fears when it comes to relationships is that I get stir crazy. I am not a commitment-phobe persay, but sometimes I wonder if I am, because I like the new, the fresh, the something to watch for around the corner. So some people, when they get into relationships, like to settle in. They get comfortable with the other person and look for that stability. Thats what always shook me. Edges and quirks that initially drew me in get eroded over time, and suddenly the situation has changed and I'm looking at why I am in this in the first place. So Ive tried to pump the brakes a bit on the initial dalliances. I am notorious for falling into infatuation real quick, and then 2 weeks later when the other person has come around, I get the "oh shit I rushed into this" moment. So I need to mature there, and I feel like that could bleed elsewhere in my life. Being more content with the present and fully living in that. I don't know how thats gonna happy, but I'd like to believe I can try. I think thats why work is so fulfilling for me right now. Every day is a complete crap shoot as to whats going to happen, its completely dynamic, its IMPOSSIBLE to get bored. And if you are, you should have never been doing this to begin with.
So i really dont know what to say, I probably just should stop thinking about it so much. Ill have these spells where I am just on autopilot, zoning out cause my mind is going a mile a minute, planning, scheming, thinking, dreaming, etc... and the rest of my faculties are pretty much muted. And people always say when you find it, you'll know it; whether they are talking about the right job, the right relationship, etc... I wonder how that is. And I guess I fear I will be too dense or too preoccupied with stressing about my future to realize when its at my doorstep. So basically I stress about being stressed and worry about worrying about the future. I think I'm a fucking basket case. Reading back over this, it probably makes no real sense and is just the rambling thoughts of someone with an overactive mind. Welcome to my world, take a seat and be patient, we'll get this sorted out eventually...
Luckily, I can still escape into music. That never changes. I have decided the last week to revisit the awesomeness which is the Arctic Monkey's first CD. It never ceases to just jack my mood up a few notches. I still think I Bet That You Look Good on the Dance Floor is one of the best "radio singles" of the last 10 years. That song still blows my mind, its just brilliant. But the intro song, A View From the Afternoon, is what gets me. I bought the CD, put it on in my car, and I honestly replayed that song 3 times before even going any deeper into the CD. There is just something about the changes in tempo, the spring and pep to the chorus, the unsheltered awesome Britishness to the lyrics and melody. I am jealous I am not them, that I am. If your day needs a jolt, these lads will give it to you
"Anticipation has a habit to set you up, for disappointment in evening entertainment but, tonight there'll be some love, tonight there'll be a ruckus yeah..."
JW
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Who needs running water? Pssh, obviously not me
So I am moving into a new apartment down in Old Town in July. I am pretty freaking excited, but my excitement has crescendoed at a rapid pace in the last month as "renovations" in my building have rendered all the common spaces with an appearnce to that of a bombed out Sarajevo in the mid-90s. I mean, be it the 8 foot by 5 foot hole in the wall in my hallway that is now boarded up like an abandoned warehouse? Or the piles of new and broken drywall taking up most of the lobby? Maybe the plastic tarping cutting a ghetto path through this same hallway since there is dust everywhere and they don't want the mid-40s era carpeting to be damaged. I was talking to a kid in the elevator and he said he has had trouble sleeping and is constantly coughing like he has tuberculosis cause of all the dust on his floor.
And that is just the common areas. In my apartment, everything related to plumbing is FUBAR. My bathroom sink is clogged, and Draino had no effect (maybe I should have just chugged it). One day I flushed my toilet and it kept on flushing...for 3 hours. Both my kitchen sink and shower shoot out random brown water for extended periods of time when I periodically turn them on. And now my shower flat out just doesn't work. It has a flow similar to an old man with an enlarged prostate. And when I contacted my building manager to administer Flomax to said shower? I was told someone will be by within the week. Are you serious?!?! Within the week? So I get to look forward to bathing in water droplets like some emaciated contestant on Survivor for the foreseeable future. My apartment once had an old-school, pre-war charm. Now it feels like its going to be condemned. This move can't arrive soon enough.
Seeing as yesterday was Father's Day, my family came down to Chi-city for the day, which was sweet as I didn't have to drive up 94 to MKE like I always do. We decided to go to the Shedd Aquarium aka The Best Place in the World. So we decided to CTA it up, for adventure's sake, and get on the Red Line down to Roosevelt. Now its an easy trip, you get off at Roosevelt, head due east and BAM, you're there. Well, my mother is one of the most outgoing and social people you will ever meet. So naturally, she starts chatting with people on the train. Well her gregarious nature was noticed by one of the Red Line's many resident crackheads. So as we depart the train, my mom is being approached/chatted up by a woman who I think starred in that leprechaun video. Well as we are trying to get away politely and expediently, I manage to point us due south and we start walking. All of a sudden, I realize that we are well into the South Loop and have walked way too far south, and not east at all. No big deal, except my dad is in a walking splint since he broke his leg a few weeks ago and it was not reacting well to all the walking. So I got a big fat dumbass label on my forehead and gifted my father an awesome inflamed leg for Father's Day. Love you Dad!
The Shedd was amazing per usual, except for the one thing I always neglect to recall when fondly remembering the joy of the Shedd...the horrible little children. Seeing as it was a Sunday afternoon, every exhibit looked a filming of Jon and Kate plus 8...plus another 25. Kids climbing the walls, and tables, and anything with a flat surface. All those cool interactive screens where you can scroll through fish names and facts and such to get an idea of what you are looking at? Pretty much all either malfunctioning due to being treated like a Whack-a-mole or occupied by grubby little beasts with one hand up their nose and the other smacking the LCD. It was a lesson in how not to parent. It was also an awesome unintentional ad for birth control. I could feel all my sperm committing suicide in my body's attempt to provide me with sterility to avoid such pint sized disasters. I literally had a kid pop up from between my arms as I was holding a railing and looking downward, scaring the hell out of me and nearly causing me to swat him like a fly. I did see one father pulling his son off a display and scolding him for acting like a savage. I wanted to go give the dude a hug or a high five or something. He clearly deserved to celebrate Father's Day, while the rest stood idly by like prison guards as the inmates brawl. But fear not, I still had an awesome time and think that fish are still cooler than most girls I knew in college.
So Ive had The Offspring- Half Truism stuck in my head for awhile now. The little rise he does in his voice in the verses "show in your eye-i-eyes" just really makes me happy for some reason. But it also made me realize that they were a band I love that I never really mention. Like everyone has a band or two that they know a million songs from and really crave from time to time, but never mention among their favorite bands and don't really own a CD from. My dad's band of this description? Scorpions. I can't even talk about how awesome that is especially if you know my dad. And I did find an old Scorpions album, but they didn't have ITunes back then, so it still fits. But yeah, ive always loved the Offspring, though I hate Pretty Fly for a White guy. The Kids Aren't Alright is one of the most badass intro riffs of the 90s and its just awesome and upbeat music. Not to mention the lead singer was once a PHD student in Molecular Biology at USC. How nuts is that? Most lead singers of punk bands have advanced degrees in regrettable tattoos and dropping out of High School, so booyah. So go figure out your fav band you never mention and rock out to their catalog.
"Your self-liberation will leave this behind, beyond slings and arrows, that rain on your minds..."
JW
And that is just the common areas. In my apartment, everything related to plumbing is FUBAR. My bathroom sink is clogged, and Draino had no effect (maybe I should have just chugged it). One day I flushed my toilet and it kept on flushing...for 3 hours. Both my kitchen sink and shower shoot out random brown water for extended periods of time when I periodically turn them on. And now my shower flat out just doesn't work. It has a flow similar to an old man with an enlarged prostate. And when I contacted my building manager to administer Flomax to said shower? I was told someone will be by within the week. Are you serious?!?! Within the week? So I get to look forward to bathing in water droplets like some emaciated contestant on Survivor for the foreseeable future. My apartment once had an old-school, pre-war charm. Now it feels like its going to be condemned. This move can't arrive soon enough.
Seeing as yesterday was Father's Day, my family came down to Chi-city for the day, which was sweet as I didn't have to drive up 94 to MKE like I always do. We decided to go to the Shedd Aquarium aka The Best Place in the World. So we decided to CTA it up, for adventure's sake, and get on the Red Line down to Roosevelt. Now its an easy trip, you get off at Roosevelt, head due east and BAM, you're there. Well, my mother is one of the most outgoing and social people you will ever meet. So naturally, she starts chatting with people on the train. Well her gregarious nature was noticed by one of the Red Line's many resident crackheads. So as we depart the train, my mom is being approached/chatted up by a woman who I think starred in that leprechaun video. Well as we are trying to get away politely and expediently, I manage to point us due south and we start walking. All of a sudden, I realize that we are well into the South Loop and have walked way too far south, and not east at all. No big deal, except my dad is in a walking splint since he broke his leg a few weeks ago and it was not reacting well to all the walking. So I got a big fat dumbass label on my forehead and gifted my father an awesome inflamed leg for Father's Day. Love you Dad!
The Shedd was amazing per usual, except for the one thing I always neglect to recall when fondly remembering the joy of the Shedd...the horrible little children. Seeing as it was a Sunday afternoon, every exhibit looked a filming of Jon and Kate plus 8...plus another 25. Kids climbing the walls, and tables, and anything with a flat surface. All those cool interactive screens where you can scroll through fish names and facts and such to get an idea of what you are looking at? Pretty much all either malfunctioning due to being treated like a Whack-a-mole or occupied by grubby little beasts with one hand up their nose and the other smacking the LCD. It was a lesson in how not to parent. It was also an awesome unintentional ad for birth control. I could feel all my sperm committing suicide in my body's attempt to provide me with sterility to avoid such pint sized disasters. I literally had a kid pop up from between my arms as I was holding a railing and looking downward, scaring the hell out of me and nearly causing me to swat him like a fly. I did see one father pulling his son off a display and scolding him for acting like a savage. I wanted to go give the dude a hug or a high five or something. He clearly deserved to celebrate Father's Day, while the rest stood idly by like prison guards as the inmates brawl. But fear not, I still had an awesome time and think that fish are still cooler than most girls I knew in college.
So Ive had The Offspring- Half Truism stuck in my head for awhile now. The little rise he does in his voice in the verses "show in your eye-i-eyes" just really makes me happy for some reason. But it also made me realize that they were a band I love that I never really mention. Like everyone has a band or two that they know a million songs from and really crave from time to time, but never mention among their favorite bands and don't really own a CD from. My dad's band of this description? Scorpions. I can't even talk about how awesome that is especially if you know my dad. And I did find an old Scorpions album, but they didn't have ITunes back then, so it still fits. But yeah, ive always loved the Offspring, though I hate Pretty Fly for a White guy. The Kids Aren't Alright is one of the most badass intro riffs of the 90s and its just awesome and upbeat music. Not to mention the lead singer was once a PHD student in Molecular Biology at USC. How nuts is that? Most lead singers of punk bands have advanced degrees in regrettable tattoos and dropping out of High School, so booyah. So go figure out your fav band you never mention and rock out to their catalog.
"Your self-liberation will leave this behind, beyond slings and arrows, that rain on your minds..."
JW
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Mother Nature? A word please...
So this has honestly been one of the worst Springs I can recall in a long time. Granted, the last 5 of them, I was a few hundred miles south, so the climate was a bit different, but still. Spring officially ends in less than a week, and I can't recall a stretch of nice weather that lasted more than a day or two. For instance this morning, I check weather.com at around 6:45, find that it is a BALMY 68 degrees, and immediately am pumped that I don't have to wear a jacket to work in the morning for once. Whilst riding the train, the sun is shining a bit and I am getting all ahead of myself planning on maybe doing a little reading on my building's horribly underutilized rooftop deck after work. Well, naturally, I leave work and its raining. I mean, come on. April showers bring May flowers. June showers bring an apathetic outlook on life and an insatiable desire to nap...which I did. Lame. Lets have some fun with analogies.
This year's spring is:
...the fiancée who pushed hard to get you to believe marriage was the right idea, and gradually you came around, against your better judgment, and got damn excited about the idea...then she left you at the alter like f-ing Julia Roberts.
...the delicious bag of peanuts that finally arrives on the plane's snack cart after 2 hours of a flight in which you are in front of a screaming baby and you are absolutely famished...but you are allergic to peanuts and you break into hives and other assorted unpleasantries.
...as much as it pains me to say it, the Cubs every fall.
So spring, you can suck it.
In other random news, I was riding a crowded train home last week and naturally I was wearing my bag since I was coming home from work. Well I accidentally brushed said bag against an older African-American woman's arm as she was sitting. As any sane and calm person would do, she aggressively pushed it as hard as she could and it nearly came off my arm and I stumbled a bit due to the shift in balance. I turned around to apologize and was met by a horrific glare.
"Im sorry, I didn't realize I bumped you, my bad."
Her response?
"You slammed it into my head you selfish idiot. This isn't your personal damn train."
I was so bewildered that I got off at the next stop, Sedgwick, and just waited for the next train. Fuck that noise, I don't need an angry ass BBW trying to beat my ass for accidentally occupying her plus size bubble for a moment. I love the CTA.
In case you hadn't heard, Blink-182 has reunited and a full concert tour is scheduled for the summer. Now I was not a huge Blink fan until much later than most. Enema of the State came out when I was a freshman in HS and to be honest, its my least favorite of all their releases. So Take Off Your Pants... came out a few years later, I liked it much more, so then I picked up Cheshire Cat, Buddha, and Dude Ranch, and then I suddenly understood the buzz. Its so rough, and out of key vocally, but yet so earnest and without pretension, and I think thats whats the best. Though, I don't know how I feel about seeing them in concert now playing songs they wrote 10-15 years ago about girls and bathroom humor when they are in their mid-30s with kids. But hey, as ridiculous as it sounds, they are the equivalent of the Ramones or Iggy and the Stooges for this generation, so rock on. I listened to Reckless Abandon today. That song rules and its pacing is just amazing. Just never lets up, pure musical energy.
"Nothing to hold on to, we'll use this song, to lead you on..."
JW
This year's spring is:
...the fiancée who pushed hard to get you to believe marriage was the right idea, and gradually you came around, against your better judgment, and got damn excited about the idea...then she left you at the alter like f-ing Julia Roberts.
...the delicious bag of peanuts that finally arrives on the plane's snack cart after 2 hours of a flight in which you are in front of a screaming baby and you are absolutely famished...but you are allergic to peanuts and you break into hives and other assorted unpleasantries.
...as much as it pains me to say it, the Cubs every fall.
So spring, you can suck it.
In other random news, I was riding a crowded train home last week and naturally I was wearing my bag since I was coming home from work. Well I accidentally brushed said bag against an older African-American woman's arm as she was sitting. As any sane and calm person would do, she aggressively pushed it as hard as she could and it nearly came off my arm and I stumbled a bit due to the shift in balance. I turned around to apologize and was met by a horrific glare.
"Im sorry, I didn't realize I bumped you, my bad."
Her response?
"You slammed it into my head you selfish idiot. This isn't your personal damn train."
I was so bewildered that I got off at the next stop, Sedgwick, and just waited for the next train. Fuck that noise, I don't need an angry ass BBW trying to beat my ass for accidentally occupying her plus size bubble for a moment. I love the CTA.
In case you hadn't heard, Blink-182 has reunited and a full concert tour is scheduled for the summer. Now I was not a huge Blink fan until much later than most. Enema of the State came out when I was a freshman in HS and to be honest, its my least favorite of all their releases. So Take Off Your Pants... came out a few years later, I liked it much more, so then I picked up Cheshire Cat, Buddha, and Dude Ranch, and then I suddenly understood the buzz. Its so rough, and out of key vocally, but yet so earnest and without pretension, and I think thats whats the best. Though, I don't know how I feel about seeing them in concert now playing songs they wrote 10-15 years ago about girls and bathroom humor when they are in their mid-30s with kids. But hey, as ridiculous as it sounds, they are the equivalent of the Ramones or Iggy and the Stooges for this generation, so rock on. I listened to Reckless Abandon today. That song rules and its pacing is just amazing. Just never lets up, pure musical energy.
"Nothing to hold on to, we'll use this song, to lead you on..."
JW
Monday, June 1, 2009
Funny the way it is, if you think about it
So I recently went home for Memorial Day and was hanging out with my sister and some of her friends. Being 20 years old and clearly not well versed in politics, the arts, and literature such as myself, they were talking, dare I say gossiping, about some others within their little circle of friendship, specifically the interesting dynamic between my sister and her ex. Now my sister and her ex, B, dated for a long ass time. From the end of 8th grade through the beginnings of their freshman year of college last year. As high school breakups normally do, it ended on sketchy terms and their relationship has been strained to say the least. They are cordial and hang out due to their copious amounts of mutual friends, but in the future, I don't see them frolicking in fields of daisies or playfully shoving in each other in a promo for TNT's newest show about best friends. Anyways, they were talking about how ex's can never be friends, too much history, blah blah. The struck me as patently immature and very much indicative of that black and white teen mindset. Its a mentality that never really resonated with me.
Maybe its because I didn't have my first serious relationship till I was 18 and a freshman in college, or maybe because by that time, I had created such a caricature of what I was looking for in a relationship that I couldn't help but be friends with who I was dating, regardless of the situation or outcome. Of the 4 significant relationships Ive been in (dating for 3+ months), I consider two of those ex's some of my closest friends. Now in both situations, it was not break-up and then... *poof*... we were homies.
One of the relationships was a long distance ordeal at the end so we had the, funny enough, benefit of not having to see or speak with each other except via phone or IM or whatever when someone really wanted to have something to say. It kind of eased the cooling off period and then allowed us to kind of test the proverbial friendship waters and enter at our own pace. Then it got to the point where we were talking a couple times a week and got past our history as an awkward point and realized we were invaluable to each other as friends as a result of the 9 month relationship and the transparency such a situation offered.
The second was completely different. Took place at school, break actually occurred just before school reconvened and we had tons of mutual friends and obligations which put us in contact almost daily. To say it was tense and awkward at times is an understatement. It was ugly at points, but again, once you approach the whole situation with the understanding that there is a transition period and it doesn't always have to be this ridiculous, then strangely enough, things improve greatly as the weeks pass. Rarely is one side completely vindicated of any "wrongdoing" (there was no cheating involved in either of these situations) and thus both parties are equal in blame for whatever fallouts occur. So while I felt I was handling everything with grace and poise and maturity, my inability to end a relationship properly at that time in my life probably caused most of the riffs that happened early in the school year. But then again, as in the previous situation, we realized our value as friends and that really helped get on and frankly, I couldn't be happier with how it turned out.
Now this whole little spiel isn't to seem all philosophical and it does seem awfully contrived with the talk of "friendship value" and such, but its more the idea that good friends are hard to come by, its something I value tremendously and deeply as anything, and to let one go for something as trivial, in the grand scheme, as you once dated, seems like a waste. Now extenuating circumstances are of course divorces, infidelity, breaking off of engagements. Thankfully I've never experienced those, so I don't feel qualified to comment for or against anything related to that. I just feel like if you are close enough to date someone for a period of time, you obviously like spending time with them and you have enough in common, it has to stretch past just the romance. You can't date someone you aren't friends with, am I wrong? Well, idk, you could, I dont want to get into that, haha.
But the whole reason I address the question is that Ive found it to be quite a point of contention. Some people either find it completely foreign and abnormal, or are completely turned off or threatened by it. For example, I had a relationship, about 6 months after the second break up I referenced, where the new gf was so completely against any friendship I had with my ex that it became a stressor on the relationship and was one of the reasons for the eventual dissolution of the relationship. And to clarify, at this point, we were both dating other people, and were still starting to explore the whole being good friends thing. It was not a BFF situation where we were going to dinner and spending tons of time 1 on 1. We were simply talking, being cordial, hanging out when mutual friends were together, etc... Well the new gf just couldn't take it. It was not a hatred of my ex, maybe it was jealousy (I don't know of what?), but she just was baffled as to why we were friends. I found nothing wrong with it, and her outrage to be strange, especially since I never put her second to the ex, but who knows. And then recently, this mentioned ex just got out of a pretty long (in college terms) relationship in which we didn't speak much unfortunately. However, upon their break-up, she called me and apologized for the recent distance between us and mentioned how her bf during that time really didn't like the thought of us talking and being friends, so she scaled it back for his sake, and then realized the utter stupidity of it all post break up. And for clarifications sake, this whole time they were dating, they were in Oxford, OH, at Miami...and I was living in Chicago. I wasn't even around?!!? Are people really this insecure and scared? Im not some Lothario who was making an impassioned attempt to get her back, just ridiculous. Add it to the list of relationship issues and problems I never will understand and hopefully can manage to dance around the rest of my romantic life...bah
Speaking of ridiculous, time for some CTA gems. I have compiled my top 5 from my recent blogging absence:
5) Girl on the train today actually:
"If a bitch wants to sell her p****y for cash, thats her damn choice. If a playa is gonna give me some green to tap this, then hell yeah."
Umm, seriously? This is why the Red Line frightens me, cause this shit is normal.
4) I have not been keeping stats, but I imagine I am batting about 85% in terms of winning the fucking "Being the first person chose to sit next to on the entire train, leading to an awkward ass ride home" lottery. I guess I have kind eyes or because I'm thin, but I have no idea. Without fail, whenever people get on the train and there are no open double seats, they make a beeline for me, its absurd...and uncomfortable cause sometimes when I have a rough trading day, the last thing I want is my bubble being awkwardly popped.
3) Couple on the Purple Line home last week. Probably around 19-20, most likely Depaul students. Managed to make out for about 10 min straight from Merchandise Mart to Fullerton. I almost wanted to give them a standing O as they left. I guess the smell of masses of people and flatulence turns some people on.
2) Older woman reading the paper. To her left and directly in front of me, a man of Middle Eastern descent was talking on his phone, probably in Arabic, at a low level, completely non-invasive. She remarks to nobody in particular, but quite audibly:
"Damn towel heads. Always blabbing in Hindu or some shit. Speak fucking English."
Hooray intolerance! This man wasn't wearing a turban or being obnoxious. What an old skank.
1) Finally, a similarly aged couple to the one mentioned below were talking about YouTube videos. The girl excitedly remembers one she had seen but can't remember the title:
Girl: "Have you seen the one about the city in Ohio? Its like talking about how bad it is. I don't know which one, its not Columbus. But its all dirty and broken down, like Gary."
Guy: "Cincinnati?"
Girl: "No, its way worse than that..."
I almost wet myself holding my laughter in. Of course she was talking about the brilliant Cleveland Tourism videos, but her frank and horrible comparison of Cleveland to Gary fucking Indiana was hilarious, only because of the tremendous amount of crap my friends from Cleveland get even before this video.
So Dave Matthews Band's new CD comes out tomorrow. The whole thing is streaming here www.pandora.com/davematthewsband . Give it a listen for sure if you are even a casual fan. Its awesome, but it got me thinking. They were my fav band in early HS and I listened to tons of other stuff in that genre. The Ben Harpers and the like. But then I heard a couple of songs that basically turned me into the pop-punk/emo kid fiend I am today. Like, people always joke about a song "changing your life" but these songs literally did. Turned me on to a completely different scene and got me going to concerts all the time, instead of the DMB show every summer. The one that stands out to me cause I hadn't heard it in awhile, but then I heard a month ago and play it all the time now, is The Juliana Theory-If I Told You This Was Killing Me... I still remember the first time I heard it. When that first line comes blasting in, I was just floored. I was never the same. So thank you TJT, and Brand New, and TBS, and Alkaline Trio for making me the music junkie I am today. But also, thanks DMB for making me love music that wasn't on the radio for the first time.
"Watch your mouth, hold your tongue boy, because you're running out of breath, running out of time before every callous word that you utter, renders you utterly useless..."
JW
Maybe its because I didn't have my first serious relationship till I was 18 and a freshman in college, or maybe because by that time, I had created such a caricature of what I was looking for in a relationship that I couldn't help but be friends with who I was dating, regardless of the situation or outcome. Of the 4 significant relationships Ive been in (dating for 3+ months), I consider two of those ex's some of my closest friends. Now in both situations, it was not break-up and then... *poof*... we were homies.
One of the relationships was a long distance ordeal at the end so we had the, funny enough, benefit of not having to see or speak with each other except via phone or IM or whatever when someone really wanted to have something to say. It kind of eased the cooling off period and then allowed us to kind of test the proverbial friendship waters and enter at our own pace. Then it got to the point where we were talking a couple times a week and got past our history as an awkward point and realized we were invaluable to each other as friends as a result of the 9 month relationship and the transparency such a situation offered.
The second was completely different. Took place at school, break actually occurred just before school reconvened and we had tons of mutual friends and obligations which put us in contact almost daily. To say it was tense and awkward at times is an understatement. It was ugly at points, but again, once you approach the whole situation with the understanding that there is a transition period and it doesn't always have to be this ridiculous, then strangely enough, things improve greatly as the weeks pass. Rarely is one side completely vindicated of any "wrongdoing" (there was no cheating involved in either of these situations) and thus both parties are equal in blame for whatever fallouts occur. So while I felt I was handling everything with grace and poise and maturity, my inability to end a relationship properly at that time in my life probably caused most of the riffs that happened early in the school year. But then again, as in the previous situation, we realized our value as friends and that really helped get on and frankly, I couldn't be happier with how it turned out.
Now this whole little spiel isn't to seem all philosophical and it does seem awfully contrived with the talk of "friendship value" and such, but its more the idea that good friends are hard to come by, its something I value tremendously and deeply as anything, and to let one go for something as trivial, in the grand scheme, as you once dated, seems like a waste. Now extenuating circumstances are of course divorces, infidelity, breaking off of engagements. Thankfully I've never experienced those, so I don't feel qualified to comment for or against anything related to that. I just feel like if you are close enough to date someone for a period of time, you obviously like spending time with them and you have enough in common, it has to stretch past just the romance. You can't date someone you aren't friends with, am I wrong? Well, idk, you could, I dont want to get into that, haha.
But the whole reason I address the question is that Ive found it to be quite a point of contention. Some people either find it completely foreign and abnormal, or are completely turned off or threatened by it. For example, I had a relationship, about 6 months after the second break up I referenced, where the new gf was so completely against any friendship I had with my ex that it became a stressor on the relationship and was one of the reasons for the eventual dissolution of the relationship. And to clarify, at this point, we were both dating other people, and were still starting to explore the whole being good friends thing. It was not a BFF situation where we were going to dinner and spending tons of time 1 on 1. We were simply talking, being cordial, hanging out when mutual friends were together, etc... Well the new gf just couldn't take it. It was not a hatred of my ex, maybe it was jealousy (I don't know of what?), but she just was baffled as to why we were friends. I found nothing wrong with it, and her outrage to be strange, especially since I never put her second to the ex, but who knows. And then recently, this mentioned ex just got out of a pretty long (in college terms) relationship in which we didn't speak much unfortunately. However, upon their break-up, she called me and apologized for the recent distance between us and mentioned how her bf during that time really didn't like the thought of us talking and being friends, so she scaled it back for his sake, and then realized the utter stupidity of it all post break up. And for clarifications sake, this whole time they were dating, they were in Oxford, OH, at Miami...and I was living in Chicago. I wasn't even around?!!? Are people really this insecure and scared? Im not some Lothario who was making an impassioned attempt to get her back, just ridiculous. Add it to the list of relationship issues and problems I never will understand and hopefully can manage to dance around the rest of my romantic life...bah
Speaking of ridiculous, time for some CTA gems. I have compiled my top 5 from my recent blogging absence:
5) Girl on the train today actually:
"If a bitch wants to sell her p****y for cash, thats her damn choice. If a playa is gonna give me some green to tap this, then hell yeah."
Umm, seriously? This is why the Red Line frightens me, cause this shit is normal.
4) I have not been keeping stats, but I imagine I am batting about 85% in terms of winning the fucking "Being the first person chose to sit next to on the entire train, leading to an awkward ass ride home" lottery. I guess I have kind eyes or because I'm thin, but I have no idea. Without fail, whenever people get on the train and there are no open double seats, they make a beeline for me, its absurd...and uncomfortable cause sometimes when I have a rough trading day, the last thing I want is my bubble being awkwardly popped.
3) Couple on the Purple Line home last week. Probably around 19-20, most likely Depaul students. Managed to make out for about 10 min straight from Merchandise Mart to Fullerton. I almost wanted to give them a standing O as they left. I guess the smell of masses of people and flatulence turns some people on.
2) Older woman reading the paper. To her left and directly in front of me, a man of Middle Eastern descent was talking on his phone, probably in Arabic, at a low level, completely non-invasive. She remarks to nobody in particular, but quite audibly:
"Damn towel heads. Always blabbing in Hindu or some shit. Speak fucking English."
Hooray intolerance! This man wasn't wearing a turban or being obnoxious. What an old skank.
1) Finally, a similarly aged couple to the one mentioned below were talking about YouTube videos. The girl excitedly remembers one she had seen but can't remember the title:
Girl: "Have you seen the one about the city in Ohio? Its like talking about how bad it is. I don't know which one, its not Columbus. But its all dirty and broken down, like Gary."
Guy: "Cincinnati?"
Girl: "No, its way worse than that..."
I almost wet myself holding my laughter in. Of course she was talking about the brilliant Cleveland Tourism videos, but her frank and horrible comparison of Cleveland to Gary fucking Indiana was hilarious, only because of the tremendous amount of crap my friends from Cleveland get even before this video.
So Dave Matthews Band's new CD comes out tomorrow. The whole thing is streaming here www.pandora.com/davematthewsband . Give it a listen for sure if you are even a casual fan. Its awesome, but it got me thinking. They were my fav band in early HS and I listened to tons of other stuff in that genre. The Ben Harpers and the like. But then I heard a couple of songs that basically turned me into the pop-punk/emo kid fiend I am today. Like, people always joke about a song "changing your life" but these songs literally did. Turned me on to a completely different scene and got me going to concerts all the time, instead of the DMB show every summer. The one that stands out to me cause I hadn't heard it in awhile, but then I heard a month ago and play it all the time now, is The Juliana Theory-If I Told You This Was Killing Me... I still remember the first time I heard it. When that first line comes blasting in, I was just floored. I was never the same. So thank you TJT, and Brand New, and TBS, and Alkaline Trio for making me the music junkie I am today. But also, thanks DMB for making me love music that wasn't on the radio for the first time.
"Watch your mouth, hold your tongue boy, because you're running out of breath, running out of time before every callous word that you utter, renders you utterly useless..."
JW
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Playing for Keeps
So this past weekend was the 1 year anniversary of my college graduation. Getting texts from people, seeing related Facebook messages, all the assorted paraphernalia. Needless to say I started thinking initially about how I missed college, but then more so about how the past year has went.
It seems almost surreal thinking its been a year. I vividly remember sitting in that graduation ceremony being terrified. I wasn't excited, I wasn't necessarily nervous, I was just scared. For some reason, the gravity and "accomplishment" aspect of graduating never really hit me. I hate to say I took it for granted, but I guess I always assumed it was given, the next step in a process. So when people were offering congrats, I just kind of shrugged it off and said I would accept it once I got a job. But I was scared because for all intensive purposes, college went EXTREMELY well. I came in a complete blank slate ready to reinvent myself and leave my old high school self behind. And I did. I crafted a social circle I never had before and basically got after it in other aspects of life that I wanted to. But now I was leaving it all behind and worry began creeping into my head about whether or not I would be able to continue this "good streak" outside of the friendly confines of Oxford and Mother Miami. All I knew was that if you stripped away the fear, I was ready to go.
So now here I am, a year later, and honestly, it has flown by. I spent the first 2 months post graduation looking for a job. It was horrible and indescribably frustrating. Here I am ready to move on, put college behind me in a positive way, and Im just spinning my wheels. But since then, Ive gotten a job, moved to Chicago, gotten laid off, went jobless for 2 months, got a job doing exactly what I wanted to do post college, and now here I am 1 year later. In some ways it still hasn't clicked yet. I get up to go to work everyday, and once I wake up, I can't wait to get in there. Even during my internships which were fun and fresh, it was still work and I didn't relish going in daily. Now with this job, I get excited in a way I sure as hell never did for class. That makes leaving college behind that much easier. The other day I was walking in Wrigleyville and I was stopped to talk a picture of some tourists in front of Wrigley Field. I got hit with that "Wow, Im actually living in Chicago, I always thought about this when I was a kid" sort of feeling. I still get that incredulous child-like wonder about random things in life. I don't know when that stops as you get older, but frankly I hope it never does, cause its kind of cool. The whole idea of going to work everyday and "living in the big city" still kind of feels foreign; natural and routine, but foreign.
So in all this change and time flying by, and how everything still feels new, I wonder if I really am any different cause my "college self" would still think this whole post college life in Chicago was pretty crazy and whimsical too. Well for one, I think I am alot more comfortable with myself as a person. I don't mean in a cheesy "I love myself so much!" sort of way, but the fact that you find out different things about yourself pretty quick after college. For one, everything slows down a bit. I mean your life progresses as normal, but unlike in college, everything isn't broken up into 3-4 month chunks where your schedule and social circles are changing constantly. So you can really figure out what you're all about and what you need from others in your life to be most successful. I don't crave monotony or excessive structure, but I love the whole idea that if something is working or going well, it doesn't have to end because its the end of a semester, or summer, or someone is graduating. Everything has a feeling of pseudo stability, that is if you want it to, thus you can really focus on it and make it happen. Or if something is wrong, you address it in a timely fashion otherwise it can persist as long as you let it. You can't be saved by the semester bell. I guess the bottom line is there is an accountability and an empowerment I didn't necessarily feel in college. If I'm not happy with something currently, being it socially, professionally, entertainment wise...I live in the 3rd largest city in the best damn country in the world. Its my own damn fault if I am unhappy. Thats a tough lesson to learn, but once I did and I realized the resources at my disposal, it really made it tough to get bummed out about anything or feel sorry for myself. Those were two qualities I perfect in spells at Miami usually blaming them on a stagnant social scene or the shackles of living in a college town. No excuses now, so now regrets.
I guess the bottom line, as weird as it is to say, I am loving being a "real adult" and am as happy overall as I ever was when I was in college. Yeah bills suck, I stress over money, things don't always go as planned (for the first time in my life I sit awake at night thinking about the future and what I really want for myself and how to do it), but I seem to be able to find silver linings to every storm cloud alot easier than I did in college. I would give anything to do freshman year of college over, but in terms of just going back to college in general? I honestly will take where I am now and how I am doing in a second. And that realization is probably one of the most refreshing and goosebump giving thoughts Ive ever had. The fear is gone and its been replaced by optimism and hope...
Speaking of college, at work today I had a song pop into my head I literally had not heard/listened to since I left Miami. I listened to The Sounds-Night after Night all the time before I went out cause it just seemed to resonate with me. I guess the chorus seemed to speak to my mindset about alot of things and how I wanted to move forward. Then I listened to the piano version when studying cause its chill and just awesome. Its rare for a song to be in two forms, both of which are significantly different, but nonetheless moving. Plus I love her voice, its not perfect and clean, but it works perfectly.
"Night after night, you say you move on. Tomorrow, tomorrow, Now whats holding you back?"
JW
It seems almost surreal thinking its been a year. I vividly remember sitting in that graduation ceremony being terrified. I wasn't excited, I wasn't necessarily nervous, I was just scared. For some reason, the gravity and "accomplishment" aspect of graduating never really hit me. I hate to say I took it for granted, but I guess I always assumed it was given, the next step in a process. So when people were offering congrats, I just kind of shrugged it off and said I would accept it once I got a job. But I was scared because for all intensive purposes, college went EXTREMELY well. I came in a complete blank slate ready to reinvent myself and leave my old high school self behind. And I did. I crafted a social circle I never had before and basically got after it in other aspects of life that I wanted to. But now I was leaving it all behind and worry began creeping into my head about whether or not I would be able to continue this "good streak" outside of the friendly confines of Oxford and Mother Miami. All I knew was that if you stripped away the fear, I was ready to go.
So now here I am, a year later, and honestly, it has flown by. I spent the first 2 months post graduation looking for a job. It was horrible and indescribably frustrating. Here I am ready to move on, put college behind me in a positive way, and Im just spinning my wheels. But since then, Ive gotten a job, moved to Chicago, gotten laid off, went jobless for 2 months, got a job doing exactly what I wanted to do post college, and now here I am 1 year later. In some ways it still hasn't clicked yet. I get up to go to work everyday, and once I wake up, I can't wait to get in there. Even during my internships which were fun and fresh, it was still work and I didn't relish going in daily. Now with this job, I get excited in a way I sure as hell never did for class. That makes leaving college behind that much easier. The other day I was walking in Wrigleyville and I was stopped to talk a picture of some tourists in front of Wrigley Field. I got hit with that "Wow, Im actually living in Chicago, I always thought about this when I was a kid" sort of feeling. I still get that incredulous child-like wonder about random things in life. I don't know when that stops as you get older, but frankly I hope it never does, cause its kind of cool. The whole idea of going to work everyday and "living in the big city" still kind of feels foreign; natural and routine, but foreign.
So in all this change and time flying by, and how everything still feels new, I wonder if I really am any different cause my "college self" would still think this whole post college life in Chicago was pretty crazy and whimsical too. Well for one, I think I am alot more comfortable with myself as a person. I don't mean in a cheesy "I love myself so much!" sort of way, but the fact that you find out different things about yourself pretty quick after college. For one, everything slows down a bit. I mean your life progresses as normal, but unlike in college, everything isn't broken up into 3-4 month chunks where your schedule and social circles are changing constantly. So you can really figure out what you're all about and what you need from others in your life to be most successful. I don't crave monotony or excessive structure, but I love the whole idea that if something is working or going well, it doesn't have to end because its the end of a semester, or summer, or someone is graduating. Everything has a feeling of pseudo stability, that is if you want it to, thus you can really focus on it and make it happen. Or if something is wrong, you address it in a timely fashion otherwise it can persist as long as you let it. You can't be saved by the semester bell. I guess the bottom line is there is an accountability and an empowerment I didn't necessarily feel in college. If I'm not happy with something currently, being it socially, professionally, entertainment wise...I live in the 3rd largest city in the best damn country in the world. Its my own damn fault if I am unhappy. Thats a tough lesson to learn, but once I did and I realized the resources at my disposal, it really made it tough to get bummed out about anything or feel sorry for myself. Those were two qualities I perfect in spells at Miami usually blaming them on a stagnant social scene or the shackles of living in a college town. No excuses now, so now regrets.
I guess the bottom line, as weird as it is to say, I am loving being a "real adult" and am as happy overall as I ever was when I was in college. Yeah bills suck, I stress over money, things don't always go as planned (for the first time in my life I sit awake at night thinking about the future and what I really want for myself and how to do it), but I seem to be able to find silver linings to every storm cloud alot easier than I did in college. I would give anything to do freshman year of college over, but in terms of just going back to college in general? I honestly will take where I am now and how I am doing in a second. And that realization is probably one of the most refreshing and goosebump giving thoughts Ive ever had. The fear is gone and its been replaced by optimism and hope...
Speaking of college, at work today I had a song pop into my head I literally had not heard/listened to since I left Miami. I listened to The Sounds-Night after Night all the time before I went out cause it just seemed to resonate with me. I guess the chorus seemed to speak to my mindset about alot of things and how I wanted to move forward. Then I listened to the piano version when studying cause its chill and just awesome. Its rare for a song to be in two forms, both of which are significantly different, but nonetheless moving. Plus I love her voice, its not perfect and clean, but it works perfectly.
"Night after night, you say you move on. Tomorrow, tomorrow, Now whats holding you back?"
JW
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Rantin' and Ravin' Storytime
So I don't really have any particular topic, but there were some things that left an impression on me in the last 24 hours.
Rant:
I am SICK of this swine flu garbage. I understand its potentially serious, but the hysteria they are putting people in by calling this much attention to it is insane. There are 91 cases in the US. 91 among 400 million people. And even more so, the only fatalities and risk to fatalities are young children and the elderly. What does that sound like? Idk...the normal flu? At work, all I hear on CNBC is swine flu reports all day. Its now about 75% swine flu and 25% financial news...awesome. Wash your hands and be smart, don't panic. Bah.
Next, I was reading the Red Eye this morning and their was a whole article about how to get arms like Michelle Obama. Hold on...what? Are there really women across the country lusting after Michelle Obama's arms and shoulders? This is just ridiculous. First we had to hear about Michelle Obama the style maven and how you can copy her style, and now she is a fitness icon? This transcends politics. I mean, support Obama, he is our president and he became a rock star in the campaign, etc etc... But now the hero worship has moved on to the first lady? Excuse me while I throw up on my copy of US Weekly. I must have missed the articles in the past about Barbara Bush's creamy athletic calves and Hilary Clinton's toned mid section. Ive been feeling a bit out of shape lately, I think I will look to Barney Frank's work out routine since he has been in the headlines for bank related political news.
Rave:
I somehow slept through my alarm today and didnt wake up til 7:18. Now I normally leave my apartment between 7:20-7:30. And I still did. Thats right, I took a shower, made a sandwich for lunch, and ate breakfast in less than 15 minutes. Needless to say, I was feeling quite smug and proud of myself on the train this morning.
So storytime. First was the man I encountered leaving the train yesterday morning. He, while disheveled, didn't have the appearance of being homeless. But he was horribly slurring his words and stumbling a bit while yelling this at various commuters:
"Hey man, can you spare a dollar or so? I need to buy a rubber. I have to practice safe sex."
I was so stunned I couldn't even chuckle. If he indeed was drunk, at 730 in the morning, to this extent, then that is quite the feat. And I applaud him for seeking protection before engaging in also sorts of vigorous outdoor vagrant sex, it probably runs a high risk of swine flu or something. On the other hand, I am more inclined to believe that he mentally was just not right, and that is kind of sombering and sad. I think Ill go with the former and chuckle at the disturbing aspects of fornicating street urchins.
Then, later, on my commute home, I overheard this amazing conversation between two mid 20s fratty young professionals.
Fratty 1: Hey dude, wanna hit the gym?
Fratty 2: No man, I gotta go tanning.
*Editors note: Normally this would not be a big deal, guys tan, I know this, I went to Miami, just wait*
Fratty 1: You tan dude? Thats kind of gay, haha.
Fratty 2: Man, my girl makes me do it. She won't hook up with me otherwise. She said pale skin is a complete turn off.
Fratty 1: Oh alright, thats completely legit. You're definitely not pale now.
I almost choked on my own saliva I was laughing so hard while remaining silent as I looked out the window. It was just too priceless. I love the CTA.
Ive been listening to The Shower Scene by Brand New all day, you should too.
"Go tell him how my wrist is sore, from pulling out your insides. Nothing that you do is new to anything or anyone but you..."
JW
Rant:
I am SICK of this swine flu garbage. I understand its potentially serious, but the hysteria they are putting people in by calling this much attention to it is insane. There are 91 cases in the US. 91 among 400 million people. And even more so, the only fatalities and risk to fatalities are young children and the elderly. What does that sound like? Idk...the normal flu? At work, all I hear on CNBC is swine flu reports all day. Its now about 75% swine flu and 25% financial news...awesome. Wash your hands and be smart, don't panic. Bah.
Next, I was reading the Red Eye this morning and their was a whole article about how to get arms like Michelle Obama. Hold on...what? Are there really women across the country lusting after Michelle Obama's arms and shoulders? This is just ridiculous. First we had to hear about Michelle Obama the style maven and how you can copy her style, and now she is a fitness icon? This transcends politics. I mean, support Obama, he is our president and he became a rock star in the campaign, etc etc... But now the hero worship has moved on to the first lady? Excuse me while I throw up on my copy of US Weekly. I must have missed the articles in the past about Barbara Bush's creamy athletic calves and Hilary Clinton's toned mid section. Ive been feeling a bit out of shape lately, I think I will look to Barney Frank's work out routine since he has been in the headlines for bank related political news.
Rave:
I somehow slept through my alarm today and didnt wake up til 7:18. Now I normally leave my apartment between 7:20-7:30. And I still did. Thats right, I took a shower, made a sandwich for lunch, and ate breakfast in less than 15 minutes. Needless to say, I was feeling quite smug and proud of myself on the train this morning.
So storytime. First was the man I encountered leaving the train yesterday morning. He, while disheveled, didn't have the appearance of being homeless. But he was horribly slurring his words and stumbling a bit while yelling this at various commuters:
"Hey man, can you spare a dollar or so? I need to buy a rubber. I have to practice safe sex."
I was so stunned I couldn't even chuckle. If he indeed was drunk, at 730 in the morning, to this extent, then that is quite the feat. And I applaud him for seeking protection before engaging in also sorts of vigorous outdoor vagrant sex, it probably runs a high risk of swine flu or something. On the other hand, I am more inclined to believe that he mentally was just not right, and that is kind of sombering and sad. I think Ill go with the former and chuckle at the disturbing aspects of fornicating street urchins.
Then, later, on my commute home, I overheard this amazing conversation between two mid 20s fratty young professionals.
Fratty 1: Hey dude, wanna hit the gym?
Fratty 2: No man, I gotta go tanning.
*Editors note: Normally this would not be a big deal, guys tan, I know this, I went to Miami, just wait*
Fratty 1: You tan dude? Thats kind of gay, haha.
Fratty 2: Man, my girl makes me do it. She won't hook up with me otherwise. She said pale skin is a complete turn off.
Fratty 1: Oh alright, thats completely legit. You're definitely not pale now.
I almost choked on my own saliva I was laughing so hard while remaining silent as I looked out the window. It was just too priceless. I love the CTA.
Ive been listening to The Shower Scene by Brand New all day, you should too.
"Go tell him how my wrist is sore, from pulling out your insides. Nothing that you do is new to anything or anyone but you..."
JW
Monday, April 27, 2009
Summertime and Setlists
Forgive me readers, I have sinned. It has been a week plus since my last blog post. Anyways, I was thinking today on the train home about pros and cons. But you know what? Negativity can suck it. I realized over the last 2 days about the two things that never cease to put me in a positive mood, aphrodisiacs for life: Concerts and warm weather...as they never cease to turn me on, huzzah!
But seriously, this upturn in the temperature has just had put such an overwhelmingly positive sheen on my daily activities, its ridiculous. Last Friday, for example, my daily dance with the market left me as the awkward wallflower while she grinded seductively with the star quarterback. But I stepped outside and Mother Nature gave me a flirty 75 degree smack on the ass and suddenly all was right with the world. As I sat around with a few other traders, sipping beers on an outdoor patio, I realized how completely the weather can elevate mood. When I was younger, I was always a "fan" of winter, probably cause my dad always boasts about how Wisconsin gets all 4 seasons and he loves the cold temperatures. Then on a family trip to San Diego when I was a teen, it hit me...I hate the cold. I love fall, and 50 degrees (aka light jacket weather) is baller, but cold is just a dirty biatch. However, I think the only side benefit of the cold is the positively euphoric feeling that washes over you when the temperature starts to warm up. When you suddenly feel overheated walking down the street in your winter coat or when you suddenly crave the wind cause its not that caustic bitter maelstrom that comes busting up your fun in December. Though I do wonder how people in Hawaii or Florida feel when its nice every day. Does it ever get boring? Ill remember to look at that statement in February of next year when I suddenly remember that the cold relishes kicking me firmly in the groin. The difference between summer and winter is just so marked. Probably because, for example, I woke up this morning at 6:30 and it was sunny and nice outside. Contrast this with waking up at 6:30 in winter in complete darkness and howling winds, feeling like an extra in the Nightmare Before Christmas. No wonder everyone is just in a better mood. Don't believe me? Just pay attention this weekend or even during the week when you are out and about. There is just a tangible buzz in the air and everything just feels so much more positive, its pretty hard to explain, but easily to feel.
So last Tuesday I went to see Alkaline Trio and Saves the Day at the Metro. First off, it was an incredible show. Alkaline Trio has actively battled with Brand New as my favorite band for years now, and Saves the Day is one of the bands I honestly grew up with. I can remember listening to both of these bands when I was like 15. And the Metro is by far my favorite venue in Chicago. Just an awesome smaller venue, no thrills, awesome sound, and tons of history. So needless to say, it was an incredible show, one of the better ones I have seen in awhile. And this also cause me to contemplate how unbelievably pivotal live music is in my life. Besides my whole performing background, just being at shows is one of my zen "happy places" and can pull me out of whatever funk I may happen to be in. I think I realized it when I saw Fall Out Boy in HS. I was like 17, just old enough to drive around on my own (after my Dad's personal year probation period...lame) and I convinced my friends to let me go by myself. None of my friends could go/wanted to go, so I said fuck it and went by myself. I had such a blast that I would say I probably go to 50% of the concerts I see by myself. I mean, I welcome the company, but I love music enough that I get just as much out of it when it is me and the music. Well I left the show, and jogged the almost mile home, in the cold/pseudo rain, just buzzing. And the "high", if you will, last for the next two days, conveniently until the warm weather arrived. I don't know if its the emotion on stage, the sensory overload, or whatever, but I could go see a country concert and still probably walk away pumped up and pleased...and country music and I don't always get along.
So, to be brief and simple, if you are feeling morose, and its not warm out...go see a concert and you are going to be good to go. And like Levar Burton, you don't have to take my word for it!
So speaking of Saves the Day, they are a band I have listened to for close to 10 years, which is ridiculous to think about. And they have totally changed as a band in the time, seeing as they were still in HS when they formed. But it has always been upbeat, energy filled music, with ridiculous lyrics. And when I say ridiculous, I mean thoughtful, introspective, stirringly on point with common emotion and situations, and for a time, borderline disturbingly morbid. Every guy has wanted to change his physical appearance to please some teenager girl at some point, but not many are clever enough to write about removing their blue eyes because said girl has a crush on a guy with brown eyes. Like I said, kind of disturbing, but oh so awesome. And these lyrics are always saturate with melodies you won't soon stop humming and suddenly you will be singing these morbid lyrics when you are happy and in a good mood, cause thats just how upbeat and awesome these songs are. Chris Conely's voice takes a bit of getting used to for some people, but it fits the music so perfectly, anything else just wouldn't work. I could listen about 20 awesome songs, but Ill give you my top 3 favorites: Sell My Old Clothes I'm Off to Heaven; See You; and my all time favorite, the lyrical masterpiece, Rocks Tonic Juice Magic. Saves the Day is also the reason I still give Jersey some props even though everything I have every seen about the Jersey Shore makes me think the state is not deserving of props...zing!
"Cause you're beautiful, just not on the inside, yea. Light comes from within, your beaming eyes don't seem so bright..."
JW
But seriously, this upturn in the temperature has just had put such an overwhelmingly positive sheen on my daily activities, its ridiculous. Last Friday, for example, my daily dance with the market left me as the awkward wallflower while she grinded seductively with the star quarterback. But I stepped outside and Mother Nature gave me a flirty 75 degree smack on the ass and suddenly all was right with the world. As I sat around with a few other traders, sipping beers on an outdoor patio, I realized how completely the weather can elevate mood. When I was younger, I was always a "fan" of winter, probably cause my dad always boasts about how Wisconsin gets all 4 seasons and he loves the cold temperatures. Then on a family trip to San Diego when I was a teen, it hit me...I hate the cold. I love fall, and 50 degrees (aka light jacket weather) is baller, but cold is just a dirty biatch. However, I think the only side benefit of the cold is the positively euphoric feeling that washes over you when the temperature starts to warm up. When you suddenly feel overheated walking down the street in your winter coat or when you suddenly crave the wind cause its not that caustic bitter maelstrom that comes busting up your fun in December. Though I do wonder how people in Hawaii or Florida feel when its nice every day. Does it ever get boring? Ill remember to look at that statement in February of next year when I suddenly remember that the cold relishes kicking me firmly in the groin. The difference between summer and winter is just so marked. Probably because, for example, I woke up this morning at 6:30 and it was sunny and nice outside. Contrast this with waking up at 6:30 in winter in complete darkness and howling winds, feeling like an extra in the Nightmare Before Christmas. No wonder everyone is just in a better mood. Don't believe me? Just pay attention this weekend or even during the week when you are out and about. There is just a tangible buzz in the air and everything just feels so much more positive, its pretty hard to explain, but easily to feel.
So last Tuesday I went to see Alkaline Trio and Saves the Day at the Metro. First off, it was an incredible show. Alkaline Trio has actively battled with Brand New as my favorite band for years now, and Saves the Day is one of the bands I honestly grew up with. I can remember listening to both of these bands when I was like 15. And the Metro is by far my favorite venue in Chicago. Just an awesome smaller venue, no thrills, awesome sound, and tons of history. So needless to say, it was an incredible show, one of the better ones I have seen in awhile. And this also cause me to contemplate how unbelievably pivotal live music is in my life. Besides my whole performing background, just being at shows is one of my zen "happy places" and can pull me out of whatever funk I may happen to be in. I think I realized it when I saw Fall Out Boy in HS. I was like 17, just old enough to drive around on my own (after my Dad's personal year probation period...lame) and I convinced my friends to let me go by myself. None of my friends could go/wanted to go, so I said fuck it and went by myself. I had such a blast that I would say I probably go to 50% of the concerts I see by myself. I mean, I welcome the company, but I love music enough that I get just as much out of it when it is me and the music. Well I left the show, and jogged the almost mile home, in the cold/pseudo rain, just buzzing. And the "high", if you will, last for the next two days, conveniently until the warm weather arrived. I don't know if its the emotion on stage, the sensory overload, or whatever, but I could go see a country concert and still probably walk away pumped up and pleased...and country music and I don't always get along.
So, to be brief and simple, if you are feeling morose, and its not warm out...go see a concert and you are going to be good to go. And like Levar Burton, you don't have to take my word for it!
So speaking of Saves the Day, they are a band I have listened to for close to 10 years, which is ridiculous to think about. And they have totally changed as a band in the time, seeing as they were still in HS when they formed. But it has always been upbeat, energy filled music, with ridiculous lyrics. And when I say ridiculous, I mean thoughtful, introspective, stirringly on point with common emotion and situations, and for a time, borderline disturbingly morbid. Every guy has wanted to change his physical appearance to please some teenager girl at some point, but not many are clever enough to write about removing their blue eyes because said girl has a crush on a guy with brown eyes. Like I said, kind of disturbing, but oh so awesome. And these lyrics are always saturate with melodies you won't soon stop humming and suddenly you will be singing these morbid lyrics when you are happy and in a good mood, cause thats just how upbeat and awesome these songs are. Chris Conely's voice takes a bit of getting used to for some people, but it fits the music so perfectly, anything else just wouldn't work. I could listen about 20 awesome songs, but Ill give you my top 3 favorites: Sell My Old Clothes I'm Off to Heaven; See You; and my all time favorite, the lyrical masterpiece, Rocks Tonic Juice Magic. Saves the Day is also the reason I still give Jersey some props even though everything I have every seen about the Jersey Shore makes me think the state is not deserving of props...zing!
"Cause you're beautiful, just not on the inside, yea. Light comes from within, your beaming eyes don't seem so bright..."
JW
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
