Want to be Hallway buddies?

Last week when I was home, my younger sisters (12 and 14) were playing Fifteen by Taylor Swift INCESSANTLY. Seriously, every damn time I passed our den, it was crackling through computer speakers, usually accompanied by arguments about who got to sing along. Honestly, those two need to learn to harmonize otherwise we are never going to become the Partridge Family. Well that song coupled with a dream I had Monday night got me thinking about High School. For me, such recollections are akin to fondly remembering your worst relationship or the most painful sickness you've ever had...both combined really. Not that I didn't have good times, cause I certainly did, but more its just really startling to look at the person I was in HS. And its not like, oh haha, I was awkward, I've come so far. But more like, sweet lord, how could someone be so fundamentally pathetic at age 17? WTF Justin?

Anyways, onto the dream first. We all know that the realm of dreams is completely absurd and usually defies rational explanation. The human brain is a wondrous and relatively unknown item, at least in terms of what its truly capable of, and dreams really are a shining example of that fact. As a Psych major, I read about alot of it, but its often drivel about deriving means about why certain colors mean you have incestuous tendencies or if a rock talking to you means you probably should get an evergreen green minivan as opposed to a sapphire blue one. I swear psychologists are filthy and extraordinarily bored people. But I digress.

So in this dream, I am suddenly in High School again. But this is strange to me, cause I am not high school aged, I am still 23 in my current form. And I am actually in my middle school bathroom. In any case, over the next whirlwind minutes, I go through some weird interactions, and flush some kids lunch down a urinal (WTF right?) and go home thoroughly upset. When I am at home, I am talking to my mom and we are discussing how the family is moving. And we are most likely moving to Scottsdale, AZ so my sister (who is 19 and a college soph) and I can both restart HS, together. While the idea of AZ was quite pleasing, I recall pleading with my mother that couldn't I just restart college? 23 and a freshman wouldn't be all bad. The rest of the dream is kind of a blur and filled with more images and events that would probably make your head spin and wonder what I've been ingesting. I'll just offer that the dream ended with me throwing woodchips on a playground, an activity I enjoyed till I was probably, idk, 16....

I am not going to even begin to interpret this mess, but it did make me think of some of the more interesting and horrible times in that particular period of my life. One night in particular stands out because at the time I was euphoric, but now in retrospect, its downright shameful.

My junior year of HS, I drove my friend Phil to and from school as he was a sophomore and lived nearby (Only Jr's and Sr's could park at school). Phil, while a close friend back then, was remarkable normal, clever and funny, but not a charismatic giant and not exactly a male dimepiece. But for whatever reason, he was hugely popular and friends with pretty much every "untouchable" girl at my HS. So one Fri, Phil and I went to the girl's basketball game. We were sitting kind of in an empty area when 4 girls come up to us: Jaime, Talia, Mandy, and Brigid. They were pretty much consensus some of the most ridiculously attractive girls in school, and not in that "Plastics" kind of way, you could give these girls black eyes and they would still turn heads. Editors note: I actually saw Talia at a basketball game a few months ago and she has only improved. I literally stared for a min while my dad was talking to me, until he hit me and I finally came back to conciousness. Anyways, they excitedly came up to say Hi to Phil and then immediately inquired who his friend was. Im sure my face looked as if I was about to meet Mickey Mouse for the first time. In no time, they are surrounding us and taking turns peppering me with questions, wanting nothing more than to get to know me. Im sure I was looking fly, probably wearing one of 3 puffy vests I own and a long sleeve t, per usual. And let me just say, I saw these girls everyday in the halls, but suddenly Im the mysterious new kid. So we continue bantering and Im subtly pinching myself, hard, to make sure this isn't some fantastical dream.

Later, I had to go to my locker and grab something I had forgotten that day, and Mandy eagerly says she will come with me. No, this doesn't turn into some torrid hookup, amongst the lockers on school grounds; at this point, Im still over a year a way from my first kiss and I have about as much game as that Monopoly box you have in your basement that is missing most of the characters, all the hotels, plus Broadway and Marvin Gardens. Anyways, as we are walking back, she is like "You'll be my hallway buddy right? Like you have to make sure to say hi to me when you see me!" I calmly said, though probably screamed, "Absolutely", much to her delight. I thought, is this happening? Did she say that? I would have thrown a freshman through a window earlier that day to get some acknowledgment and now she is practically begging me? Get the fuck out.

So the night ends, with a few hugs (which at that point for me was like a threesome with Megan Fox AND Anne Hathaway), and we parted ways. This was before everyone had a cell phone, otherwise, God willing, I may have had some math. I get home, and close the door to my room, before exploding in a jubilant display of joy. Air-kicking, Tiger-style fist pumping, falling to my knees thanking God and most of the Greek deities. BEST....NIGHT...EVER

Lets take a step back here. All this emotion and joy and euphoria was because of talking to YOUNGER girls. This is HS, the older guys are supposed to have all the power and control here. The girls look up to you. And I didn't make out with anyone. I didn't get any dates with these uber hotties. I didn't even get a phone number for potential in the future. I just talked to them for a bit, they showed an interest in me, and I got a hug from 50% of them. And at this stage of my life, I probably could have been struck by lightning and my life would have been a success.

As a post script, come Monday, between 2nd and 3rd period, I walked past her locker where I know I saw her daily. So confidently and excitedly I approach the locker, she looks up and we make direct eye contact. As I say "Hey Mand..." she turns away to say something to someone nearby. My inner reaction was something like this. But outwardly, I scoffed and walked on. I was crestfallen. Luckily I didn't go through with my plans to make that skank a Michael Bolton starter kit. None of those girls said more than 2 words to me the rest of my time at f-ing HHS.

These days, looking at that incident, I am more embarrassed about Fri night than the horror of Mon. I know girls are tricky and finicky minx. They often lie and act completely different in two situations. I know that I should take all initial greatness with a grain of salt. So Monday is not a completely shocking turn of events. No, Friday and the fact that I became a giddy school girl over that minuscule nonsense, thats what sticks in my gut. Just imagine how lame the rest of the 4 years were if that was the apex of my years. And Ill leave you with the fact that I capped off my HS years at Senior prom...by being ditched by my date for a black cheerleader. Yep, no lies there. I can truthfully say Miami University saved my life.

So there is one song that I feel just encapsulates my whole childhood. Not the lyrics, but just the fact that I grew up with the song and being obsessed with it on the radio when I was about 12 showed me that I really loved music. It was the first song I ever performed at an open mic, and just still blows my mind everytime. Up till then it was just top 40 nonsense. Its The Gufs-Smile. Its still in my top 5 fav songs of all time and it brings me back to all the positives of growing up in Mequon, WI. They are from Milwaukee and were HUGE in the mid-late 90s there. I was shocked when I came to college and most people had never heard of them. But I seek to bring them to everyone one person at a time. I saw them this summer at a 20th anniversary show with the Milwaukee Symphony, and it was just indescribably amazing.

Enjoy the weekend.

"I tried to live without you for awhile, and I can now control you with a smile..."

JW