So "Overheard in New York" was such a wildly popular phenomenon that it spun off countless other similar sites and Facebook groups. Now I don't know if an "Overheard on the CTA" exists, but I could maintain an entire site dedicated to such content with contributions from only yours truly. I don't even need other people's stories, I hear enough on my daily commute to populate a Twitter feed for days...though Twitter kind of freaks me out and is the downfall of any sort of divide between the public and the private. But thats a commentary for a different day.
Anyways, today was abnormal because instead of a choice nugget or two, I could swear that every damn conversation happening around me was so insatiably absurd and captivating that I didn't finish the Redeye over the span of two whole train rides. These top 3 were so awesome that I wanted to tap random strangers and ask if they heard that with a child-like wonder in my eyes. But I resisted for fear of appearing as strange and abstract as the conversations currently dancing through my ears. Additionally, the way people have been responding to my simple gestures of kindess lately, Im sure they would have taken it as some sort of personal affront.
1) After boarding, I was standing next to two African American gentlemen who were loudly and excitedly talking about their cellphones. Now last week, I overheard a similar conversation about the merits of Cricket Wireless. But oh no, this was better:
Guy 1: Yeah man, I need me a new fucking phone.
Guy 2: Dawg, you just got that for Christmas. Its still dope.
1: Hell naw man, I need that touch screen, not this flip shit.
1: Besides, I be getting a new phone every 3-4 months.
2: Why man?
1: Playa, you know you gotta keep your phone game tight.
1: Ladies be seeing your phone and judging you for it.
2: Shit, thats true. This one bitch always be talking about Blackberries...
Seriously? I mean, I could not believe my ears. It solved so many questions about my percieved relationship woes. I worry about my personality and my hair and my appearance, fuck that noise, I have been neglecting my phone game. If it was tighter, maybe with that touch screen, it could be a much different story. I'm learning new things every day!
2) As I came out of the station downtown, I was standing next to two women waiting for the light to change. One woman was, how do I describe this, festively plump. She seemed to not be content with her robust figure as she was, again, loudly commenting on it to her friend:
Festively Plump: Yeah, you know I am really working on my figure.
Friend: Thats great to hear!
FP: Yeah, I am taking steps to get more healthy, you know, get in shape for summer.
F: I can totally tell!
Oh, maybe I should note that our health concious friend was carrying a bag of McDonald's breakfast in one hand and puffing on a...Marlboro with the other. I mean, who am I to judge, there are many different ways to get in shape. Obviously the cigarette and fast food diet was in between Atkins and South Beach in the brochure.
PS: Right after this convo, I watched a homeless dude in FULL SPRINT, stop on a dime (he literally skidded with dust kicking up like a Wylie Coyote cartoon) and dive down to pick up a half smoked cigarette recently discarded by a guy entering my building...sweetness.
3) While the first two exchanges were just bizarre, this final one literally made my day. As I got off the train at Fullerton, a homeless dude was standing outside Dominick's looking for some donations, probably for a charity he was spearheading. Anyways, I wasn't paying any mind till her delivered his line:
"Spare some change mothufucka?"
I resisted all urge to break out in giggles and stopped in my tracks. Now seeing as a result of economic issues, I am more or less broke, I unfortunately am not in the habit of donating to the homeless. However, I respected the creativity and sheer audacity of this particular knight of the street corner and gave him $.50. I decided I could forego some Baked Lays at work tomorrow in order to reward such brazen solicitation. If it wasn't raining, I would have for sure lingered for awhile longer in hopes of catching some additional choice lines he would probably lay on selected Depaul co-eds.
"Got a dollar..you trick ass ho?"
"Any spare change you honky bitch?"
The endless possibilities raced through my mind as I waited in line at the Post Office. I felt like offering up these suggestions to the homeless dude who expects change for opening the door to this particular Post Office. His phone game is clearly not tight.
Honorable mention:
Two women got on the train at Fullerton on my way down this morning in business suits. There were about 4-5 other people in our direct vicinity, all dressed in business casual. One woman blatantly comments "I can't believe that some people actually go to work in jeans. Thats just ridiculous." Her tone was dripping with bitchiness. So I politely turn around and remark that actually I was going to class down in the Loop. She then stupidly tries to backtrack and say she was not referring to me and was just commenting in general. I mean, my appearance has been called many things: handsome, dashing, boyishly charming, etc...but stupid has not been one of them. But clearly this woman thought I looked like an idiot if she thought she was going to slip that shit past me. But, being the mature gentleman I am, I responded "No worries" and gave her a heartwarming smile...I hope her heel got stuck in a manhole cover.
So I stumbled over this little gem the other day. Its Kid Cudi-I Poke Her Face ft. Common and Kanye. The Poker Face sample is all chopped up and stripped down in amazing fashion. And the slowed down "remixed" version of the chorus at the end is just awesome. Kid Cudi, who is the best musical thing out of Cleveland since Bone Thugs, just kills his verse as does Common, and Kanye's verse is pretty decent. Overall, its just one of those awesome tracks that have kind of been popping up. Its a new turn in the whole hip-hop game, these quirky samples and remixes with some quality verses over them. Count me as a fan.
Sidenote: There are some acoustic versions of Pokerface on YouTube. And say you what you wan't about Lady Gaga, she is odd, but her musical talent is undeniable if not always apparent. And these stripped versions show it. Girl has some pipes. And not gonna lie, watching her interviews, I kind of like her, she is that good kind of crazy.
"Hold up, born in '88. How old is that? Old enough..."
JW
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